Any Closer

And really, from the beginning, us, together, had been a mistake. I always thought he was too good for me, too smart, too pretty, too current, and too funny. The man was smooth sophistication, and I was like a bull in a china shop. But none of it had mattered, our differences, because Ethan loved me. For Ethan, it was more than physical. He didn’t just love my body; he loved my mind as well. And I believed that for so long until even I could see that I was lying to myself. When he called to tell me it was over, I didn’t fight. The relationship had been dead when he first moved away; it was just that no one had the balls to pronounce it.

“Leo?”

Why on earth did he want to see me?

“Look at me.”

I hadn’t realized I wasn’t, so I turned my head, and hands were suddenly on my face. Without thinking I stepped back, lifted free, his fingers sliding over my jaw as I left him and retreated to the couch.

“You’re angry.”

But I wasn’t. I was nothing.

“I don’t want you to think I lied to you.”

“It was a hundred years ago,” I let him know. “None of it matters. Why do you care?”

His eyes betrayed him, and they were all over me.

I squinted at him. “What is it you’re looking for here, a fuck for old time’s sake?”

He came toward me as the doorbell rang. We both froze like we were guilty, which was ridiculous.

Knocking followed.

I went to the door and opened it without looking for the second time that night. It made sense that Aidan was there. Speaking seemed stupid, so I just moved out of his way so he could walk by me into the living room.

“What are you doing here?” Ethan asked him.

“I could ask you the same question.”

My ex gestured at me. “Leo’s not just an old friend.”

“From how you could barely breathe when you saw him, I didn’t think he was,” Aidan assured him, crossing his arms over his chest. “So what was your plan here, Ethan?”

I cleared my throat. “Did you guys maybe wanna go?”

“I wanted to talk to Leo.”

Not leaving. They were going to have their summit meeting here in my living room.

“Is that all?”

Was I the only one who was uncomfortable?

“I don’t know. I didn’t get that far.”

“If I can stay—” Aidan cleared his throat. “—then I’m okay with it.”

What was he okay with?

“Really?” Ethan’s whole face lit up.

His boyfriend nodded slowly, and everything finally filtered through my brain. It had taken me a second because I was so tired. “I think you both need to—”

“Leo,” Aidan began.

The doorbell rang again. It was like I was having a party and I was the last to know. I wasn’t even really that surprised to find Charlie there, smiling at me.

“Hey,” I exhaled, leaning on the door. “I thought we were talking tomorrow?”

“No, I—”

“Leo?”

I watched Charlie jolt and saw his eyes go hard, the muscles in his jaw cord as the door was opened wider and Ethan showed himself.

“Who’s this?”

“This is Charlie. Charlie, this is Ethan.”

“Oh.” My friend slowly smiled, relief flooding his face. “The ex.”

“Yes.” I nodded, opening the door even wider so he could see Aidan as well.

“Okay, now you lost me.” His head swiveled from looking at the other two men back to me as he awaited an explanation.

“This is Aidan, Ethan’s fiancé.”

“Really?”

I grunted.

“Huh.”

“That was my reaction.”

“Who—” was all Aidan got out.

“You had me worried for a second,” Charlie assured me as he walked between Aidan and Ethan, using his shoulders, muscling by them as he walked into my home.

“Worried about what?” I asked, turning to look after him, closing the door at the same time.

“That you’d brought somebody home.”

“Not that this is any of your business, but I don’t—”

“Usually hook up at their places,” Charlie cut me off. “Yeah, I know, that’s why I was scared for a second, because you bringing someone home would’ve meant something.”

“Why would you be—what are you doing?” I asked as he shed his parka and dumped it on my couch, unzipped the heavy cardigan underneath, and then stretched his whole body, hands locked over his head, and made the noise that everyone makes when they’re doing it, that sort of purring, moaning, cats-mating-in-your-backyard sound.

“Are you drunk?”

“God, sometimes that just feels good, huh?” His grin lit his face and his eyes, and I totally understood how he had made money just sitting around letting people take pictures of him. Now that I was looking and really seeing, the man was simply incandescent.

“Go home,” I ordered him irritably.

“Nope,” he told me, turning, toeing off his sneakers, letting them thump to the floor before he wandered out of the room.

“Who is that?” Ethan asked me, and he sounded damn annoyed.

“I think he’s drunk,” I told him, “because he’s never acted—”