“You never blamed him—even the tiniest bit—for going off to sea while you were so miserable in your home? For not recognizing sooner how unhappy you were?”
“Look, we’re supposed to be talking about your feelings for your father,” Shane said abruptly, determinedly changing the subject. “Yours is the one waiting for an answer about whether you want to see him again.”
Why was Shane so reluctant to talk about his deepest emotions—especially when he never hesitated to inquire about hers? Kelly had thought they’d made a step toward an intimacy of sorts the night he’d told her about his mother’s death. Apparently she’d been wrong. Shane’s emotional baggage, if he had any, was well hidden once again.
“Fine,” she said a bit shortly, refusing to analyze why she was both disappointed and hurt by his reticence with her. “There’s really nothing more to say about my father. He disappeared and now he’s back. And I need some time to think about whether I have any interest in seeing him again.”
“Seeing him might make it easier for you to resolve the past. It would give you a chance to ask him why he left you. Why he never tried to contact you.”
“You said you went to see your mother a couple of years ago. Did seeing her again help you resolve your past?”
If he felt any pain at the mention of his unsuccessful last meeting with his late mother, he didn’t let it show. “My mother was too drunk when I saw her to answer any questions about anything. And there’s another difference—I was the one who initiated the meeting. She didn’t care if she never saw me again. Your father is the one making this effort.”
She nodded somberly. “But it may just be too late.”
“That’s for you to decide, of course. Just—don’t burn any bridges.”
“I haven’t even struck a match yet,” she assured him. “I just don’t want to rush into a reunion without deciding first how I feel and what I want to say.”
“Perfectly understandable.”
“I’m glad you approve,” she responded wryly.
The irony seemed to sail right over his handsome head. “When did you tell Joe you’d give him an answer?”
“We left it open.”
“If you want my advice—”
“I’ll ask for it,” she cut in firmly. “Thank you, but this is something I have to decide for myself.”
“Kelly.” Shane reached out to cover her hand with his. “Do you want to see your father again?”
She looked at him without trying to hide her tangled emotions. “When I was a little girl, I used to pray every time the doorbell rang that my father would be on the other side of the door. When I was eleven and my mother got sick, I was sure my father would come home and make everything better. And when she died, I fantasized that he would come take me to live with him—and that he would adopt Brynn while he was at it, so I would always have her for my sister.”
Shane wrapped an arm loosely around her shoulders, the gesture so natural, so like the “old” Shane, that she didn’t even think about pulling away. “When did you stop hoping he would come back?”
“The night of my high school graduation. For some really stupid reason, I thought he would be there. I don’t know why, since I didn’t mail him an invitation—I didn’t know where to send it—but I thought he would know. I looked for him all evening. The only person who snapped my picture when I accepted my diploma was Brynn. I decided right then that she was the only family I needed.”
Shane rested his cheek against her hair. “He really hurt you badly. No one would blame you if you never wanted to see him again.”
“That’s what Joe said.”
“I agree with him.”
She let out a long, weary breath, her thoughts focused on her father’s unexpected reemergence. She savored the warmth of Shane’s arm around her, the comfort of his loyal support. She had a new family now, she thought with a touch of defiance. She didn’t need her father. Why should she subject herself to emotional distress just to ease his conscience—or whatever he wanted from this reunion?
“Whatever you want,” Shane said, “whatever makes you happy—that’s what I want you to do. Your father was an idiot to stay away from you. He doesn’t deserve a daughter like you.”
She tilted her head to smile up at him. “That was just what I needed to hear. Thank you.”
He rested a hand against her cheek. “You’re welcome.”
And it happened again. Their gazes locked. The air seemed to crackle around them, as if suddenly filled with static electricity. She was in Shane’s arms and suddenly it was not a safe, comfortable place to be.
She started to draw away. Shane’s arm tightened, holding her in place. “Don’t go away,” he murmured. “This is nice.”
Nice? It was entirely too risky. This could all too easily lead to kissing again—and she certainly didn’t want that to happen.