Better Than People (Garnet Run 1)

The quiver of Simon’s lip made Jack want to wrap him up in his arms and never let him go, but he’d learned by now that Simon’s stutter just happened and Simon got annoyed if Jack took it as an indication to treat him more gently.

“Yes,” Jack said, stroking Simon’s hair. “If I’m being completely honest. In public like we can go to the grocery store together or take a vacation, yeah. For me, yeah, that’s what I imagine when I imagine being with you. And people? Well, they’d be there, yes, but I’m not under any illusions about how you feel around people. And it’s not like I’m some social butterfly.”

Simon nodded, brow furrowed.

“But I want to be with you, Simon. I don’t want to be with an imaginary Simon who loves making small talk with strangers or singing karaoke in a crowded bar.”

He watched the color drain out of Simon’s face at the word karaoke.

“You could have anyone,” Simon whispered.

Jack tugged him down onto the bed.

“What does that mean, darlin’?”

“You could have someone...” He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

Jack kissed him.

“I don’t want anyone. I want you.”

Simon let himself be kissed but he was zoning out. Jack could practically see the thoughts zinging around in his head as if he were a translucent collection of energy transfers.

“Simon.”

“Hm.”

“Simon,” he said louder.

“Huh?”

Simon blinked, eyes wide.

“Where are you?”

Simon blinked some more.

“What are you thinking right now?”

“I w-want a hug.”

Relief struck Jack. He hadn’t really expected an answer and he certainly hadn’t expected that one.

He pulled Simon into his arms and pulled the covers over them. He held Simon tight and Simon clung to him.

There was so much he wanted to say, but this clearly wasn’t the moment.

“’M so tired,” Simon mumbled against his neck.

“Me too. Wanna sleep a bit?”

“Mm.”

Simon fell asleep almost instantly. Jack breathed in the smell of his shampoo and the faint wool smell of his sweater. Simon’s breath was warm and Jack was so happy to have him here, in his bed, in his arms. The rest could wait until tomorrow.

Chapter Nineteen

Simon

Simon woke slowly to the sound of Jack’s quiet snores. From the light outside it looked like afternoon, which meant they’d slept for hours. Simon had rolled away from Jack in his sleep. He snuggled back into the larger man’s arms.

He’d been out of it that morning, but now he could appreciate every smell and sensation, and nothing had ever felt better than being in Jack’s arms.

He pressed a kiss to Jack’s lips and Jack smiled in his sleep. Simon stroked his hair back and Jack pressed closer. He ran gentle knuckles along Jack’s cheekbone and the several days of stubble gleaming on his jaw.

“Mmm.” Jack woke, pulling Simon closer. “Love you,” he rumbled into Simon’s ear, then he kissed his ear and his temple.

Once, as a boy, Simon had been wading into the stream behind his grandparents’ house, jeans cuffed to his knees. He’d seen a fish or a sparkle of sunlight that resembled a fish a few yards downstream and gone to investigate. One moment, he was standing on the slick but solid clay at the bottom of the stream. The next moment he took a step and the ground was gone. He plunged into the water as if water was all there had ever been.

Jack’s sleep-tender words closed over Simon’s head like the shocking embrace of that unexpected water.

In the next moment, Jack stilled. Simon could feel him wake fully and realize what he’d said, but he kept his eyes firmly fixed on Jack’s throat.

“I... Simon, I...”

“You don’t have to,” Simon said quickly. “You were asleep. I know it doesn’t count—”

“Would you hush?” Jack said.

He scooted down so they were face-to-face. His hazel eyes were soft, vulnerable. He cupped Simon’s cheek in one warm hand.

“Simon, I love you. I’ve never...loved someone before. But I love the hell out of you.”

“You...do?”

Jack’s smile was slow and warm, and Simon thought it was for himself, which made it all the more beautiful.

“I really do. This is how it feels, huh? I’ve always wondered.”

“But if you’ve never...how do you know?”

It wasn’t at all what Simon had meant to say, but Jack just smiled and shrugged.

“Same way I know you love me back.”

Something warm and light crept through Simon. Something easy and joyous and powerful.

“Pretty sure of yourself,” he teased.

He felt as if every muscle in his body had suddenly gone loose and easy.

“Simon,” Jack said, pouting. “Tell me. Tell me I’m right.”

Simon’s heart pounded the most beautiful rhythm. He shrugged and arranged his face into a casual, uninterested expression, then rolled onto his back, crossing his arms under his head.

“Simon!” Jack went up on an elbow and looked down at him. “I love you. Come on.”

He playfully shoved at Jack’s shoulder but Jack was immovable.

“See, you’re used to me having a broken leg but now I’m back—ouch.” He winced. “Uh, well, I will be anyway, and then you’re in for it.”