Illusions That May (Court High 2)

“I think we’ll just sit,” Birdie said, looking at the others. “Just sit.”

Th

e words were obviously said for me, and after telling them that was okay, we did. We just sat. We watched as the church became a cluster-fuck of pomp and circumstance. Half my school came out from Windsor Prep, teachers included, and so many people I’d never even met. I was sure Paige didn’t have any connections with them either.

This is all my dad.

He had his hands in everything, taking his seat at the front of the church eventually. He looked around after he did, seemingly searching for something, and my aunt next to him, leaned over. She whispered something that had him suddenly turning his head, and when he made direct eye contact with me, frowning like I did something wrong here on this day, I gazed away. He couldn’t guilt me into anything I didn’t want to do. Not today. I was sitting back here, no negotiations.

I stared ahead, wishing this thing would be over. We still had the internment of ashes and reception after this. God…

“Who’s that woman?” I found myself asking Birdie, a woman at my sister’s urn. Why she took my attention when the others hadn’t was because of what she did when she went up front.

She put her hand on my sister’s urn, cradling it with a tissue to her face. She stayed for a long time, holding up the line.

“The headmaster’s wife,” Birdie said, all of us watching as the headmaster himself showed for this too. Principal Hastings came up behind her, whispering something to her before guiding her away. She didn’t go quickly, the woman as shiny and beautiful as everyone and everything else in Maywood Heights. She had her black hair down, chunky curls making her look like a goddess. She didn’t wear black like everyone else, but navy, the lovely silk trailing behind her when Principal Hastings finally got her away and to sit behind my dad. Dad had quite a party there, no room for me even if I wanted to be there. Besides close family, he had what I assumed were Maywood Heights people. They dressed the nicest, the most polished.

Birdie looked at me. “She used to be the school’s guidance counselor my freshman year.”

I was sure she’d seen my sister quite a lot, then, even back then. Paige and my dad had been going at it since long before I could remember, just their relationship.

I sat back, Birdie pointing out more people to me including the mayor of Maywood Heights and his wife. They all sat with my dad, grieving with him when they gave him a touch on the shoulder or a hand. Dad had obviously created some connections there I hadn’t known about.

Me: Are you close? Please tell me you are.

My text from Royal went unreturned, and if he were traveling, he wouldn’t be able to text anyway unless he was in town. He left me to deal with this by myself.

At least, that’s what it felt like.

*

The internment of the ashes was just for family and close friends, and unfortunately, I had to be a part of that, standing between my aunt and dad as his people placed my sister in her final resting place. I had to watch then, made myself. I stood near my mother’s remains while my sister was lowered in the ground beside her. I stood by idle, not allowing her voice to be heard as the minister talked about a girl who’d had a bright future and said words my dad no doubt wrote for the sake of tradition and all these people. It disgusted me a little bit, the lack of thought and care. I guess that just remained consistent when it came to her life. No one had been there for her, not even me in the end.

I lit a joint outside my aunt’s house, not particularly caring about the implications of it. My dad hadn’t given a fuck about me this whole trip anyway, my aunt even less. When I was around them both, they were fighting, couldn’t even keep it together for a goddamn minute, about things that didn’t matter. They didn’t ask if I was okay or if I needed anything. They just fought and quibbled about bullshit.

I finished my smoke and then went inside, deciding to do another circulation of the house. A lot of people had come and gone, eating my aunt’s food saying things like what a tragedy all this was. People gave me their fake smiles when they never once talked to me in school or in life, my new world and my old world colliding around me. People showed from both worlds I didn’t want to talk to and were no doubt here just for the gossip.

The gossip…

I watched that flitter through as well, people talking. They usually stopped when I came through and I figured it was either about my sister or me.

I hoped the latter.

I lingered by the pie table, spotting Jax, LJ, and Knight across the room, but again no Royal. They eventually said something to me, but it’d been brief at my sister’s burial. They’d been invited to that because I asked my dad. I got a hand on the shoulder from each of them, and again, Jax wanted to do more, but the other guys had pulled him away. Like, they physically tugged at his jacket. They kept him back like I had a disease, and once more, I got wanting to give me my space but it was too weird, and that distance continued at my aunt’s house. They talked to other people, other Court guys and such, but not to me. I didn’t get it, and there was still no Royal either. I mean, he was supposed to be her best friend, wasn’t he? And I hoped, even though I didn’t know what we were to each other, he’d kind of be here for me too.

Me: Where the hell are you?

He hadn’t answered my text at the church, and when I looked up, I found three sets of eyes on me. Any Court boys would stand out in the crowd, so Jax, LJ, and Knight were no exception. They were just as big, powerful, and beautiful as Royal Prinze, and they knew it just like Royal Prinze. They watched me from time to time during my circulations, like they were keeping tabs on me, but I doubted it. They stopped talking like everyone else when I’d been around.

So much for family.

They said as much to me at homecoming, but maybe something had changed. Maybe my sister’s death meant I could no longer be a part of their club, their mascot cut off and tossed out. I didn’t give a fuck anyway. I didn’t give a fuck about any of this. I started to go back outside but stopped when I caught a glance through the living room window. There were lots of people out there, but I recognized the two easily, fiery red hair and a beautiful boy. Royal Prinze was outside my aunt’s house.

And he was with Mira.

The girl literally had it out for me in the past, a complete bitch, and I only saw red. She hadn’t been at the memorial.

Had they come together?