Perfectly Toxic (Sterling Shore 9)

BELLA

Ethan looks pissed, and I have no idea why. Instead of responding to me though, he just sits down beside me and tosses his arm around my shoulders.

“Tomorrow we’ll go to my house. Tonight we’ll stay here,” he finally says, but he’s not looking at me.

His jaw tics, and he tenses like he’s prepared for some kind of fight. I’m too tired to fight, and I really don’t want to. I need sleep, and I sleep so much better with him beside me…

Will he sleep beside me?

This is seriously not in the ‘what to expect’ portion of those books. Pretty sure they don’t make how-to books for situations like this.

“I just wanted you to know that I’m going to talk to Tria and Rain,” he says randomly, his eyes still on the TV. “About Edward, I mean. I’m going to tell them about what happened to him and to me.”

I don’t even know what’s playing on the TV.

“Okay. That’s… good,” I tell him. What the hell am I supposed to say to that right now?

He clears his throat and shifts awkwardly. “I just wanted you to know that, because it was you who thought I should. I listened to you, and I trust you. So I’m doing what you thought I should.”

Again, I have no idea why we’re discussing this.

“Kode might stop being miserable if Tria stops hating the idea of marriage,” I say, just making conversation at the moment. “I think understanding her father would help her with that.”

Ethan doesn’t look at me, but his hand gets tighter on my shoulder.

“Nothing happened between me and Star. I haven’t touched anyone, or even wanted to touch anyone, since I met you in the hospital that first day,” he states, shifting the subject with no preamble.

I get a little queasy just thinking about him and Star.

“I was drunk, I’d told her off, and she was helping me walk. I was going to pass out, but she wasn’t stepping foot in my room. I would have crawled to my bed before I let her in my room with me. I wanted you to know that. All the stupid shit I said was me being a fucking dick because my pride was hurt. Maybe even a feeling or two was hurt,” he says, trying to sound like he’s joking on that last sentence, but unable to smile.

He looks so vulnerable right now, as though he’s struggling to wait for me to respond. I put him out of his misery quickly.

“I believe you,” I say softly.

He seems to relax just a little, but not enough. However, I’m not exactly relaxed either.

“You need anything to drink?” he asks, even though it sounds a little awkward, as though he’s looking for anything to fill the silence.

“I’m good.”

Annnnnd more awkward silence.

We both stare mutely at the TV until whatever show is on goes off, even though neither of could probably tell you what was on. Finally, Ethan breaks the silence again.

“The girls held an intervention with you because they thought you didn’t want to tell me… Because they thought you didn’t think I’d be a good father,” he says quietly, staring down at his hands.

“That’s not why they—”

“Some think it was because you didn’t want to disrupt my life,” he interrupts, still not looking at me.

I swallow hard as he takes a breath.

“Allie said she thought you wanted me to tell you I loved you before you confessed,” he states, bringing his eyes to meet mine. “Now tell me the real reason and put me out of my misery.”

I’m a horrible person. The look in his eyes makes me hate myself right now. I should have just told him from the beginning.

“A little bit of option two and three. Never option one,” I say without looking away from his eyes, hoping he sees the honesty there. “You gave up ten years of your life to handle your father’s company, even though you hated it.”