Perfectly Toxic (Sterling Shore 9)

He grimaces. “I didn’t hate it, Bella,” he sighs. “I hated the hours I had to put in. There wasn’t ever time for anything else.”

I nod, trying to understand. “A baby takes up a lot of time. There’s rarely time for anything else.”

His lips twitch. “I’m aware. I’ve seen Tag. But I can handle that. I liked the company. I never loved it. I do love our baby.”

My heart flips over in my chest. We don’t even know the sex of our baby yet, and we both love him or her.

“And you wanted me to tell you I loved you before you told me about the baby?” he asks hoarsely.

I shrug, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. It sounds so pathetic in retrospect. “It would have been nice to hear it before there was any duty behind it. You’re an honorable guy. I knew you’d always be here for your child.” I don’t mention that I had doubts after the Star debacle, since that will just hurt him for no reason. “But I also had an image in my head that didn’t consist of shared custody and arranged visitation. It was easier to hold onto that image as long as I didn’t tell you.”

He leans closer, still keeping eye contact, and his thumb strokes my cheek. “What sort of image?” he asks in his deep rumble of a voice.

I try to look away, but he grabs my chin and turns me to face him.

“You didn’t expect a baby, Ethan,” I say instead.

“I also didn’t expect you, and I couldn’t give you up no matter how insane you made me,” he says with a straight face. “The last thing I wanted was a serious relationship, yet I chased you around like I couldn’t catch you fast enough. Things change.”

My heartbeat speeds up, and I swallow hard once again.

“Tell me, Bella,” he says again.

Shit.

“Fine,” I say, rolling my eyes as the discomfort mounts. “I wanted the picture perfect family… I wanted to feel that kind of love from you that never goes away. I wanted our child to grow up being grossed out by their parents because we were that in love. I wanted a family dinner that always ended in a fit of laughter. I wanted family vacations that made us want to pull our hair out, but gave us funny stories to share for a lifetime. I wanted family game night, where we were all sore winners but never sore losers. I wanted—”

My words die when his lips are suddenly on mine, kissing me hard and deep. His tongue delves in, and I moan into his mouth. His fingers tangle in my hair as he pulls me closer, and I shift toward him. But he breaks the kiss too soon, and I’m left leaning into air, feeling dumbstruck.

“I’ll get you a notebook to write all that down,” Ethan says, amused. I can feel him grinning when he kisses my cheek.

I wasn’t expecting him to be grinning right now.

When I open my eyes, he’s leaning down, and my breath catches in my throat when his face is suddenly level with my stomach. Tears prick my eyes when he kisses my belly, and his hand rubs along the side, as though he’s soothing our child from outside the womb.

“Hope you like family game nights. You have two of the worst sore winners as parents eve

r,” he says to my stomach, and it becomes pointless to hold back the tears. “I’ll also teach you to play poker with the guys, and it doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or girl; we’ll still let you play. I’ll learn to cook, so that your mom isn’t stuck doing it all the time. I doubt living on takeout is too healthy for a kid. Don’t worry; I’ve bought some damn books, and I’ll be reading up on what you need. As for family vacations… I’ll be in charge of the road trips. I hate the way your mom drives.”

He flashes a grin up at me, but he’s a big blur through my tears. When his attention returns to my middle, I try to stop myself from sobbing like a lunatic.

“As for how much I love your mom… It’s going to embarrass the hell out of you. I’ll never be able to keep my hands off her, and she’s the only person in the world to ever get me. Just like I’m the only one to ever truly get her. Even though we’ll always have something new to learn about each other, because that’s just who we are. We’re complicated, but not impossible. I’ll never leave her, and I’ll never leave you. You’re both too important, and I want to spend every second I can with you.”

He kisses my stomach again, and I swat away the fresh onslaught of tears. Holy shit, I’ve never cried so much in all my life as I have these past few days. I only thought I couldn’t love him more, then he goes and talks to my belly… To the little peanut growing inside it... To our little peanut.

He raises back up, and I try to resemble a human being and not a water fountain as I force the tears back.

I expect him to kiss me, but he stands instead. I’m on the verge of blurting out how much I love him… About how I’ve never been in love until I fell for him… About how much it all hurts when he’s not here…

But he bends and scoops me up instead. My smile spreads, knowing we’re about to go to the room and cement our makeup, but instead, he’s carrying me toward the front door.

My smile falls.

“Where are we going?” I ask as he walks out to his car and deposits me into the passenger seat.

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he runs back, locks my door, then returns to the car to take the driver’s seat. When he whirls out of my driveway, I decide to ask again.

“Ethan, where are we going?”