Dirty Addiction (Dirty 2)

His words make me smile a little brighter, but my body is still trembling.

I watch his tongue run over his lip. I want his tongue on my lip.

“My favorite movie is The Hangover. It makes me laugh every fucking time. I have a surprisingly little amount of clothing. I love playing poker and blackjack, even when I’m getting beaten by a girl. My parents both live in Las Vegas. I’ve lived here my whole life. I have one younger sister close to your age, one older sister, a brother-in-law—whom you already met—and a three-year-old nephew whom I would do anything for. I’m a workaholic. I’m stubborn. I’m controlling. I hate waiting for decisions. I’ve never wanted to get married. I’ve never wanted kids. I don’t have a favorite artist, but I’ve been listening to the song ‘Let Her Go’ by Passenger on repeat lately.”

I swallow hard. He’s not going to propose. My head drops slightly in disappointment. This is good though. He needs to happy. At least one of us should be. I can give him that.

My eyes widen though when I watch him drop to one knee as he holds my hand.

“Princess, I know that we might not know everything there is to know about each other. I know that we, on paper, are all wrong for each other. I know you think the only reason I’m down on one knee right now is because of the loyalty I have for your father.

“You’re wrong. I’m down on one knee right now because you are the strongest woman I have ever met. You are determined, honest, beautiful, and, yes, a little naive. You are every bit as strong as your father was. I might not make the perfect husband. In fact, I know I won’t. But I want to spend the rest of my life falling in love with you.”

He pulls a box out of his pocket. He pops it open, revealing a gorgeous princess cut diamond. “Princess, will you marry me?”

I bite my lip as I look into his intense eyes. I have no idea what to say.

Yes.

No.

I don’t know.

They all go through my head. And then they all zoom out again. None of them is the right answer. None of them will make either of us happy. None of them will bring an end to this story.

I finally open my mouth to say the only word that feels right leaving my lips, “Maybe.”

A slow smile tugs at his lips as he shakes his head at me. “That’s not going to work. I can’t take t

hat as a yes. I need to hear you say it.”

I take a slow deep breath as I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I open my mouth to tell him my answer when our phones simultaneously go off. I pull my phone out from my clutch.

Mother, the screen reads.

I see Killian reaching into his pocket. He runs his hand through his hair.

We both press Accept at the same time. We each lift the phone to our ears at the same time. We both say, “Hello?” at the same time.

We both feel the pain at the same time.

“I’ll call a car to take us,” Killian says immediately, dropping his question.

Now that there are more pressing issues to deal with, it doesn’t matter if I say yes or no. His perfect proposal is ruined. Maybe that’s a good thing because I’m not sure I had the strength to tell him no, even when it’s what is best for both of us.

I watch as Killian talks on the phone as he paces back and forth in the beautiful garden. I…I don’t move. I don’t know how to feel. It doesn’t feel as bad as the last time I got a call like this. It doesn’t hurt nearly as much, but it still hurts. Maybe because Granddad is just in the hospital and not actually dead. Maybe it’s because my father was my everything. Maybe it’s because, this time, I might actually have a chance to say good-bye, if that is what this comes to.

I watch as Killian quickly makes his way around the room, blowing out all the candles. I don’t move though. I can’t. I feel him grab ahold of my hand, but I still don’t move. I’m not even sure if I’m breathing or if my heart is still beating.

“Kinsley, we need to go out front. The car should be here any minute.”

I still don’t move. Killian puts his arm around my shoulders and guides me forward. I move but only because his arm is around me. It takes a long time to make our way through the casino and back out onto the strip. Neither of us speaks as we move. We just move as one unit.

When Killian pushes the doors open to the vibrant lights of the busy strip, I move. I don’t know if it’s the lights or what that jolts me back to reality. Whatever it is, I’m thankful.

I see the blacked-out Cadillac Escalade parked in front of the casino. I grab Killian’s hand. “Come on,” I say as I run to the car. Killian runs with me.

I pull the door open and dive into the cab as quickly as possible. Killian has already run around to the other side and is jumping in. I close the door and hear a small tear of my dress from getting it caught in the door. I pick up the torn fabric and run it back and forth between my fingers. The fairy tale is over. I glance to my left where Killian sits. This is over.