Not Sorry

The elevator doors open, but I don’t know what to do because I can’t reach him even if I step on. The woman steps on and starts entering a code into the panel. I step in behind her and try not to think about the reason she knows the code to access Sean’s floor.

“Don’t hurt him,” she says as she steps off the elevator.

I frown. Why does she think that I would hurt him?

The doors close, and they don’t open again until I reach the top floor.

When the doors open, I expect another obstacle in my way, preventing me from getting to Sean, but that’s not the case. When the doors open, they open straight to his condo. And it’s the most massive condo I think I’ve ever been inside of. His condo in Chicago isn’t even half of the size of this place.

But I try not to focus on how massive and beautiful and expensive his place is. I try to focus on the man sitting on the couch with Milo in his lap and a drink on the end table as he stares out the window in silence.

I know that he knows I’m here because Milo’s head pokes up, looking at me, and there’s no way he didn’t hear the elevator. But, still, I cautiously walk over and take a seat on the other end of the couch, tucking my feet under me. I prepare for a fight of some sort or a breakup to happen even though we were never really together. But he doesn’t say anything to me. He just blankly looks at me, unfeeling.

“I don’t know what to say,” I say.

Sean takes a drink of his amber liquor and then says, “Tell me that you hate me.”

He says what he wants me to say. I know that he brought me here to end whatever was going on between us. But it’s not what he wants. He wants to be with me—or at least, he wants to fuck me again. I’m not sure if he really wants me. He probably wants to be with Jamie.

“I don’t hate you. I wish I did. It would make everything easier,” I whisper.

He nods.

I want to apologize. I want to find a way to fix things, but I can’t. I know that’s not what he wants anyway.

He just wants me to accept him for who he is. And I do, and I don’t care what he does for a living. But it still doesn’t mean that we can be together. I just don’t know what it means yet.

I feel entirely exhausted and drained even though I slept for hours on the plane. I feel so tired. I’m tired because I didn’t get much sleep the night before due to my migraine. I’m tired from dealing with Owen. I’m tired of trying to figure Sean out.

“What’s my final test?” I ask, hoping that shows him that I still approve of him enough to be here.

He raises an eyebrow, surprised at my question. “You need to hire five actors tomorrow for a new film. The script is on the kitchen counter for you to read through.”

“I’ll read it before I go to sleep, which I need to do soon,” I say, waiting to hear what he’s going to say. I try not to think about the script that is basically just a sex scene that I’m somehow supposed to audition actors for. Instead, I think about the sleeping part. Am I going to sleep in his bed? Am I going to sleep alone? I don’t have an answer.

“Like I said, the script is on the counter. You won’t need to be ready until one tomorrow afternoon. That’s when the auditions start. And you can take any of the rooms in this condo.”

I suck in a breath because he’s not making the decision of where I sleep tonight. I am. I can sleep in his bed if I want, or I can sleep on my own in any of the other beds.

I get up off the couch and walk over to the kitchen where I pick up the script. Then, I head down the long hallway. I pass door after door, each bedroom all more than acceptable rooms to sleep in. But I don’t stop until I find the door on the end. When I open it, it looks just like his retreat in his Chicago condo.

I hesitate for a second, knowing that this is just going to make things even more complicated, but I don’t care. I want to sleep with Sean tonight even if there’s no chance we’ll have a tomorrow. So, I walk into his bedroom, and then I wait.

17

Sean

That was the first time that I slept in a bed without fucking a woman first. I probably could have. Olive probably even wanted me to with the way she was lying in my bed, sound asleep, when I came in. She’d climbed into my bed completely naked, and by the time I came in, the covers were halfway down her body, exposing her perfect breasts, begging me to touch them. But I was good—mainly because I didn’t want to wake her up. She looked so peaceful, sleeping in my bed.

But, now, it’s the next day, and I honestly have no idea where we stand. I thought that bringing her here would make everything clearer. I thought she would return to hating me like she did before, and that would be that. That, no matter how much I wanted to fuck her, she would say no every time, and I’d eventually give up and move on to another woman. But that’s not what happened. Everything became more complicated.

My dick still wants her. Man, does he want her. I want her lips, her ass, her pussy. I want to push my dick inside every bit of her. But do I want more than just to fuck her? Does she want more? I’m not sure. What would that even look like? How would we

manage a relationship while working together? And I’m still not sure she’s okay with the fact that I sell sex for a living even if it’s not my body I’m selling anymore.

And there is still a past between her and Jamie that I don’t understand. I tried to get Jamie to tell me this morning when I called her. But she wouldn’t tell me. That could be another complication. And, since Jamie won’t tell me, I’ll have to work on Olive telling me.

But, for now, I get to push that all aside and just enjoy the afternoon. Because, right now, it’s time for Olive’s final test. I’ve already decided that she’s going to be my manager for me when I’m gone. She’s the only person I trust, and she’s already proven herself more than capable of handling any situation. I still want to do the test today because it’s going to be a hell of a lot of fun to watch her be uncomfortable all afternoon while trying to pretend like she’s not.