Jared studied him, his expression contemplative. “You just never wanted someone enough to be truly jealous. You never cared enough. You never needed enough. That’s why you think it’s not normal to feel that way.” He laughed, something pained flashing across his features before he concealed it behind a neutral expression. “It’s pretty normal, trust me. And it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not love. If you think it’s not love, maybe you never loved before.”
“I loved Mila,” Alexander ground out.
“Did you?” Jared said in a low voice. “I’m not sure you did.”
Alexander tensed. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Jared looked down at his beer before looking back at him. “I’ve said nothing before, but I always thought all of your relationships were a bit shallow—No, hear me out! Yes, all of them were pretty long and serious, and all of them were…nice and steady. They didn’t seem to make you feel much of anything. You were never jealous. You were never angry. You never cared enough.” He held Alexander’s gaze. “But that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”
His jaw tightening, Alexander leveled him with a look. “I don’t like what you’re implying, Jared. And you’re wrong.”
“Maybe,” Jared conceded. “Maybe you did love your girlfriends. But your reaction to your jealousy over Christian speaks volumes. You think it’s not normal. You don’t want to feel it. You think anything that strong and ugly can’t be love.” Jared eyed his beer, a strange twisted smile on his lips. “You’re wrong. And suppressing emotions isn’t healthy, Alexander.”
Alexander pressed his lips together. “How do you do that, Jared? Nothing baffles you. You have an answer for everything.”
Some emotion flashed through Jared’s face. “There’s no need for that tone. I don’t have an answer for everything. Far from it. I’m just saying sometimes love isn’t pretty. It’s not neat, and it’s not textbook perfect. There’s no template for love. Sometimes it’s dirty. Sometimes it’s a bit creepy. And sometimes it hurts.”
Before Alexander could say anything, there was a sound of footsteps.
A half-naked young guy padded down the stairs, yawning and stretching. He had slightly exotic features and dark blond hair. Emerald green eyes flickered to Alexander without much interest before the guy walked to the couch and flopped onto his belly, putting his head on Jared’s lap. “My neck hurts,” he said with a faint French accent.
Alexander raised his eyebrows slightly, unsure what to make of it. He had no idea Jared was seeing someone. Jared had told him he wasn’t seeing anyone.
He looked up at Jared and did a double take.
The indulgent, long-suffering smile that was on Jared’s lips completely transformed his entire face. His eyes were warm, his expression full of naked adoration. It made Alexander distinctly uncomfortable. It felt like he was watching something very intimate. Something he wasn’t supposed to see.
“I told you to stick to the training program,” Jared said sternly, his voice at odds with the expression on his face. But then again, the guy couldn’t see his face. “And you’re being rude, Gabriel. You’re ignoring my guest.”
“I want a massage,” Gabriel said. “And he’s not your guest. I bet he’s from your family. He looks like a pale version of you—”
“I resent that,” Alexander said dryly. “I’m the most handsome Sheldon you’ve ever met.”
Gabriel turned his head and gave him a critical stare. “Hmm,” he said thoughtfully. “No. Your hands are nowhere as good. I can tell. Jared, come on. Remember, I’m injured.”
Jared rolled his eyes but started massaging the guy’s neck. “You sprained your ankle, not you neck. Alexander, allow me to introduce you to Gabriel DuVal, the most spoiled sportsman in the world.”
Alexander concealed his surprise. He had heard of the injured French kid Jared looked after years ago, but he’d had no idea they were seeing each other. “Soccer player, right?”
“Football player,” Gabriel corrected him before smiling blissfully. “Mmm, right there, yeah.”
“Your neck is stiff,” Jared said, in a gently scolding tone. “What were you doing to get it so—”
“Ah, he’s here,” said a female voice.
A pretty young woman stood on the top of the stairs, her hands on her pajama-clad hips. She was giving Gabriel an unimpressed look. “Honestly, Gabe. Don’t be a baby.”
“She’s being rude to your guest, too,” Gabriel said, without opening his eyes. “Why am I the only one who gets scolded for that?”
The girl blushed and gave Alexander an apologetic smile. “I’m Claire, Gabriel’s girlfriend.”
Alexander stared. Then he looked at Jared, whose expression was bland.
“Nice to meet you,” Alexander said, belatedly, turning back to the girl. “Alexander Sheldon, Jared’s cousin.”
She gave him a distracted smile and said firmly, “Gabriel DuVal, stop bothering Jared and get up. We’re already imposing on his vacation—”
“You’re not,” Jared said, giving Claire a smile that didn’t quite touch his eyes. “But we’re done already—”
“No,” Gabriel said.
“—so you can take him,” Jared continued, as if having not heard him.