Redeemed (Dirty Air 4)

“You have no idea the things I did to help him out. I’m not proud of half of them, but I didn’t have a choice. He was my brother.”

“I can tell you cared about him a lot.”

“It wasn’t enough in the end. I failed him. And now, he’s not here, and Chloe… God, what am I going to do?” He runs both hands through his dark hair.

“You need to tell her the truth.” I disguise the tremble in my voice. The idea of this makes me sick with nausea.

As much as I hate what happened to Chloe’s father, avoiding the topic won’t bring him back. Chloe deserves to know what happened to him before she invests more of her feelings into her relationship with Matteo.

“He’s still getting me into trouble, even after all this time.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to him?”

“Drugs, alcohol, legal issues. You name it, he struggled with it. He was a mess up until the day he died, but I loved him despite it all. The summer before he passed, he got into some harder stuff, and his body couldn’t keep up. He died of cardiac arrest in the middle of a rat-infested apartment in New York City. He wasn’t even found until two days after he passed. My mother was absolutely destroyed. And me—” He clears his throat as he brushes away a single tear away from his cheek.

Shit. What an awful way to go. “I’m sorry for your loss. Truly I am.”

“Losing a brother is hard. But losing a twin is like someone cut off my arm.”

I cringe.

He swears something in Italian. “Sorry, that was a bad choice of words. It’s just, when I lost my twin, it was like I lost a part of myself that I never got back. Even with all his problems, we were close. I mean, we were mirror copies of one another, and we loved it.” A small smile spreads across Matteo’s lips. “It got us in all kinds of situations growing up. But I was loyal to a fault, and I bailed him out way too many times in life. Maybe I was part of the problem, always saving him. It took me a decade to let go of my guilt about his death. I was consumed by the idea that maybe if I had gotten him help sooner, he could still be here today. Maybe he could’ve had this conversation with you after

all. Maybe he could’ve met his daughter.” His eyes fall to his lap. One tear slips down his face before landing on his clenched hands.

“I can’t imagine how hard it was for you.”

“How am I supposed to tell Chloe that I’m not her father and that her real dad is dead?” His voice cracks.

“I’m not sure there is an easy way to tell her.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think I can do it. It would destroy her.”

“What do you mean ‘you don’t think you can do it’? You need to tell her.” I don’t like the look on his face. I don’t like it one bit.

“How do you tell someone their real father is dead? How can you expect me to do that?”

“I don’t know how you should tell her, but you will do it. She deserves to hear it from you.”

“What if you told her instead of me?”

I sputter. “What?” This man is absolutely psychotic.

“Yes. You’re her boyfriend. She trusts you the most. It would be easiest coming from you than me—someone who is basically a stranger. You can soften the blow, and then I’ll share who my brother was with her once she’s ready.”

I can’t find the nerve to break her heart. Not when I worked the whole summer to gain it in the first place.

I shake my head from side to side aggressively. “No way. You’re not putting this on me. She deserves to hear it from the person who was closest to her father. And that’s not me. I can’t answer any of the questions she might have.” And the last thing I want to do is break her heart. I’d rather have Matteo be the one to do it.

I can’t find it in me to rip someone’s dream away from them. It’s happened to me, and that kind of pain can be devastating.

“Cazzo.” Matteo pinches the bridge of his nose.

I don’t need a translator to draw my own conclusions about that phrase. His hesitation and dislike about the plan isn’t my problem. To be honest, I don’t give a fuck how upset this situation makes him. Chloe needs to hear this news from someone, and he’s the best choice. He can help her mourn the loss of her father better than I can.

“I’m giving you a day to figure this shit out. I’ll take Chloe somewhere, and you’ll figure out the best way to break the news. Got it?”

“I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t know if a day is enough time to figure out what to do.”