She swallowed hard. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to come.”
His blue eyes darkened. “I probably shouldn’t, but I’m selfish enough to want more. I want tonight,” he said, his voice hoarse.
Oh, he was definitely preparing for the end, she thought. A far cry from the man who’d faced her earlier. But she wasn’t ready to ask questions she didn’t want the answers to yet. So, though she knew she’d hate herself for prolonging things, she met his gaze and nodded.
“I want that, too.” She slid out of the car before she could change her mind, and held out a hand, indicating he should come, too.
The next few hours were the most beautiful and the most painful of Lissa’s life. Trevor held her hand as they made their way upstairs to her hotel room and locked the door behind them.
He undressed her slowly, taking his time because they had all night. What they didn’t have was a lifetime, and that was the only thing that would satisfy the yearning inside her. Still, she wanted these last moments and she made sure to recall each and every one. His strong, tanned hands gliding over her skin, his dark hair as he bent over her, his mouth taking her breast and suckling and teasing, torturing her until her need was so great, she thought she’d come from that alone.
He worked his way down her body, making love to her with his tongue, worshipping her in the way only a man could, replacing memories of them at seventeen with those of a night stolen out of time. One that belonged to them alone.
And by the time he lifted his body over hers, poised for entry, she’d already come more times than she could count, yet she still hadn’t had enough of him. She never would.
With his gaze fused to hers, he nudged at her opening and slowly eased his way inside, making sure she felt every last inch, every ridge, every thick hard part of him. Only when he thrust home, so deep she knew he was touching more parts of her than he’d ever reached before, did he lose control.
“Lissa.” Her name a groan, he pulled out and thrust back in, her own moisture creating a slick haven for him to pound in and out of her, bringing her up higher and higher.
She tried her best to hold back her emotions, to take the ride and just feel everything inside her and process later, but the tidal wave of feelings he created was too great.
“Trevor.” His name came out on a sob, triggering his release.
He didn’t hold back either, murmuring words of love and caring, words she absorbed into her heart and her soul, sensing this was the last time she’d hear them out loud.
And as he took over her body, coming inside her, he carried her up and over with him. Stars exploded around her, inside her, shattering her heart in the process.
When their breathing slowed and he pulled out, separating their bodies, he curled himself around her and held her tight. Neither said a word, Lissa holding back sobs but letting the tears fall. And later still, when hours passed, he’d made love to her one more time before she fell into a fitful sleep.
Lissa awoke to the feel of him sliding away from her and out of bed just as the sun began to creep through the window.
She knew her options. She’d weighed them each time she woke in his arms during the night—remain silent, pretend to be asleep, and avoid a painful goodbye; or get up and fight for what she wanted.
She’d spent yesterday telling herself it was better for them to separate now, but the more she thought about it, the more she had to ask herself why. Fate had brought them back together at a time when they had no obstacles in their way, unless they put them there. This time there was no pregnancy and no other man.
True, Lissa had a child, but why couldn’t Trevor get to know Livvy and accept her as Lissa’s little girl, and eventually as his own? Many men accepted other men’s children. Even with their intertwined past, they should be able to do this.
She owed it to herself to at least reach for what she wanted. Heart pounding, Lissa pulled herself to a sitting position in bed, lifting the sheet to cover her naked body. “Trev?” she asked softly.
He turned. The only light in the room came from the sun filtering through the drapery. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said.
“Were you going to just slip out without saying goodbye?” She brushed her tangled hair off her face.
“I would’ve left a note.” He sounded as sheepish as he ought to feel, Lissa thought.
“Don’t go yet.” She patted the space beside her, but he remained standing and shook his head.
“I thought ... I think we should make this as easy on ourselves as possible.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Says the man who insisted this wasn’t closure? That if it hurt, it meant there was still something between us?” she asked, throwing his own words back in his face. “I admit I’m the one who was ready to throw us away, but I was wrong. What changed on your end?” she asked, hating how her voice trembled. But she had to know what happened.
“I thought about what you said yesterday. About the things that separated us. And I thought about something Alex said.”
Uh-oh. Lissa’s heart began to thud against her chest in a painful beat. “And what was that?”
Trevor reached for his slacks, pulling them on before speaking. “He
brought up more things than just the distance between New York and Serendipity and the disparity in our lifestyles. He said I shouldn’t push you for anything until I was sure I could accept everything your life involves.”