And in that moment, Lissa knew exactly what Alex had said. “You aren’t sure you could accept Brad’s child as your own,” she said dully, the pain hurting so much more than she could have planned for.
He spread his hands in front of him, as he so obviously searched for the words to explain. “It’s more than that. It’s whether I’m ready to be a father. To be honest, I gave up that dream when I lost you. I dove into college, work, and making a life for myself.”
Lissa nodded slowly, digesting his words, believing part, dismissing the rest. “Let’s be clear, okay? This has nothing to do with whether or not you want to be a father. Whether you can adjust your bachelor life. This is about me having Brad’s baby and you having to face that every time you look at my daughter.”
Her jerked as if she’d struck him, but to his credit, he pulled himself together.
He rolled his shoulders back and met her gaze. “I don’t know. Maybe that is it. But could you blame me?” he asked, his voice rising. “Could you really blame me for having a tough time with it?” He sucked in a breath, then muttered a low curse. “Shit. I didn’t mean it that way.”
He sure as hell had, Lissa thought. She closed her eyes and only when she was sure she could speak calmly did she look him dead in the eye. “Not only did you mean it, but I have an answer to your question. Yeah, I sure as hell can blame you. Not before yesterday, but after. After you looked me in the eye and told me we weren’t over. Now this?” She shook her head, devastated beyond words. “Just go,” she said, wanting to him to leave so she could be alone when she cried.
She turned her head and waited. She felt him standing there staring at her and she held her breath, wondering if he’d crawl onto the bed, pull her into his arms, and say he’d made a mistake.
Instead, she heard him dressing and getting himself together. After an interminably long time, the hotel door shut behind him, leaving Lissa alone.
She turned and rolled into the pillow that smelled like him and sobbed for what felt like hours before dragging herself out of bed and into the shower.
She had a daughter she adored and a life to get back to. There was no way she could go home with swollen eyes so her perceptive little girl would ask her why mommy had been crying.
*
Trevor waited until he was alone in the elevator and slammed his hand into the metal wall, grateful for the pain throbbing in his knuckles. Better to focus on that than the pain searing his heart.
He hadn’t walked out on Lissa easily or lightly, but he’d done it based on the main thing Alex had said that made sense. Before you ask her for anything, make sure you can handle her life and everything that comes with it.
Was Trevor sure he could handle dealing with Brad Banks as Lissa’s ex-husband, as her daughter’s father? Could he be a stepfather to a little girl who probably adored a man Trevor hated?
He didn’t know, but he’d better figure it out soon—before he lost Lissa for good.
Chapter Six
It was amazing what one could accomplish with a broken heart, Lissa thought, not for the first time since her return from New York. When she’d finally pulled herself together and showered, she’d found a note slipped under her door in Trevor’s handwriting. “I’ll always love you.”
At the time, she’d thought it was a sweet but pointless gesture and she’d tucked the paper into her bag, one last memory of the weekend. Now, two weeks had gone by. Life had gone on. Lissa had baked cookies for Livvy’s bake sale at school, she’d helped her daughter with her homework, and she’d argued with Brad about canceling his next weekend with Livvy. He’d promised he would take his fiancée to Cancun and wanted Lissa to break the news to their daughter. When Brad refused to change his plans, she informed her ex-husband he could damn well disappoint his daughter himself. Lissa wasn’t doing his dirty work for him.
In the meantime, the News Journal had been so happy with her article on Trevor, they’d made a permanent job offer. Thanks to the beauty of computers and the Internet, she could work from anywhere, and she’d eagerly accepted. The magazine had gone to print on Trevor and was on newsstands now. She’d made sure to overnight a copy to Trevor, but she hadn’t signed a note of her own.
She’d interviewed Ethan Barron and discovered just how hard his life had been, how much he’d had to overcome, and how he’d done it all on his own. He’d returned to his hometown to face the wrath of the brothers he’d left behind and fix his life. Along the way he’d discovered a teenage half-sister he didn’t know he had, and both he and Faith were raising her together. No, it wasn’t easy, but being together with the woman he loved made it simpler.
That’s when Lissa lost her “star-crossed lovers” point of view and got angry at Trevor for not being willing to try.
Her doorbell rang and Lissa opened it. She’d been expecting Kate to come by.
“Ready for the game?” Lissa asked, referring to the annual homecoming football game between Serendipity High School and their crosstown rival.
Kate nodded. “You?”
“No. But I’m going anyway.” Lissa wasn’t in the mood for big crowds and people, but she knew she was better off getting out of the house.
“Where’s the munchkin?” Kate, the schoolteacher who loved kids, looked over Lissa’s shoulder, looking for Livvy.
“Olivia Rose, let’s go!” Lissa called out.
Livvy came bouncing down the hall in the Serendipity colors, maroon and white, with a streak of white on her nose. “Aunt Kate!” she called happily when she caught sight of her favorite nonrelated grownup.
“Hey!” Kate pulled her into a hug. “What’s that you’ve got on your nose?”
“Mommy put face paint on!”