The only way to distract himself from the impossible was talk. “Did you buy all new clothes for this trip?” he asked, picking up on her comment about barely recognizing the clothes in her suitcase.
“Not hardly.” Her laugh had a wry sound and he suddenly wondered if she was sitting before him wearing honeymoon clothes. Wondering if her skimpy bathing suits and sexy lounging wear had been meant for a different trip. For another man’s devouring gaze.
His stomach cramped at the thought of another male viewing her at all. Whether she was sexy in her navy two-piece suit or disheveled from a run in the rain, Doug wanted to be the only man who witnessed all the various facets of Juliette Stanton. Damn. Where the hell had these proprietary feelings come from and how did he get rid of them?
He glanced up just as she ran her tongue over her bottom lip. “My sister surprised me with this trip,” she admitted, “and with the wardrobe.”
Relief, pure and sweet, flooded his veins. In an indirect way, her clothing was meant for him alone. “Your sister sounds incredible.”
Juliette nodded. “She is special. We’re twins actually. What about you? Any brothers or sisters?”
He shook his head. “My parents couldn’t have kids, which is why they took me in so easily.” And though he’d be forever grateful, he’d often wondered what it would be like to have a brother or sister. Someone close to his own age to look out for him when times were tough and slap him on the back when things were good. “Did you and your sister always get along?”
She nodded. “She’s my best friend. She gets me through the worst of times.”
Hearing her refer to her recent past and divulge facts he already knew, his stomach clenched again. How many times in the past had someone bared their soul and he’d devoured the information without reservation? If he’d had qualms, he’d justified them with the notion of just doing his job. So he thought he’d been, if not prepared, then at least aware of how he’d feel gaining information from Juliette.
But from the beginning, his dealings with Juliette had been different. Guilt had been his companion, one he didn’t recognize but had grown used to. And it made Doug feel sick.
He forced a grin. “So there are two of you.” He caught his choice of words and shook his head, needing to rephrase. “You may be twins but you’re too unique to be alike. Too special.” And that truth wasn’t forced.
“Thanks.” Gratitude filled her eyes and she finally met his gaze. “Gillian, my sister, she’s more outgoing, so much less reserved.” Her voice trailed off and Doug knew she’d just recalled their time in the storm. Her lashes fluttered, her stare shifted and a faint blush stained her cheeks.
“Hey.” He reached out and touched her chin, giving her no choice but to look him head-on. “What happened between us? It was supposed to give you good memories to replace the bad ones, not make you too embarrassed to be with me.”
Her flush deepened. “It’s just that…”
“Say it.” He pushed her, curious to hear what caused her discomfort and withdrawal.
She let out a breath of air. “It’s like I asked and you provided. And you got nothing in return.”
Did she really have no idea? He’d been so affected by her orgasm he’d nearly come just watching. He’d never reacted so strongly to a woman before, never cared so much about someone else’s pleasure, his own be damned.
And the one thing he knew without question was the feelings crowding inside him and begging for release weren’t going to be easily controlled. “That’s not the way I remember it.”
“You’re telling me it wasn’t one-sided?”
It was time for a revelation of his own. “We both have our fantasies, Juliette.” What had he said to Merrilee? I need to know I can put a woman before myself.
At the time it had been a line to get him in the door and pair him with Juliette, though admittedly the words had held some truth. But in kissing, caressing and giving to this woman, Doug had learned—not only that it was possible to put her first physically, but that he wanted to put her first emotionally as well.
She leaned forward, ready to listen.
And he was ready to tell her. He hadn’t expected to reveal his fantasy to Juliette, but she made him want to open up and share. “I recently hurt someone I cared about. I hurt her badly. From her perspective, I was using her and I suppose she wasn’t far from wrong. So now I want to prove I can put a woman’s needs before my own.”
Curious green eyes met his. “And will just any woman do?”
“No way.” He shook his head. “And no way are you just any woman. Not to me.”
She splayed her hands on her thigh, fingering the silken material. “But you can’t deny things were one-sided. And I have to know—was it because you were using me to prove a point?”
“No more than I assume you’re using me for reasons relating to your own fantasy.” He laughed. “You are a stubborn one. Technically, yes, it was one-sided. But…” He paused deliberately.
Long enough for her curiosity to win out and for her to glance up. “But what?”
Doug leaned forward until they were inches apart. “But…” He reached for her hand. “You’ve come to mean a lot to me in a very short time. And I enjoyed watching you. And I enjoyed listening to you. Did you know you make these little sounds? Sighs, gasps, moans of pleasure?”
Her pupils dilated. A flush spread from her neck up her cheeks. Her mouth opened in a small O then closed without making a sound. Heat flooded his system and he broke into a sweat. In reassuring her, he was arousing himself all over again.