It was probably his punishment and penance. To be so close to the woman he desired and know he had to keep his distance, for her sake as well as his own. Because to make his fantasy come true—to be able to look himself in the mirror and to see he could put a woman, this woman, before himself—he couldn’t go further. Couldn’t sleep with her. Even if doing so would fulfill a fantasy of another kind, his conscience and soul were at risk. And so was his heart.
But he forced himself to concentrate on her needs. “And those sounds?” He drew both himself and her back to the point at hand.
“Yes?” The word came out a barely audible gasp.
“They turn me on.”
Juliette swallowed hard. He was doing it again, she thought, dazedly. Soothing her. Easing one kind of distress while creating a new one of an entirely different sort. He was so obviously setting out to convince her that her pleasure had been his as well.
And he was convincing. Enough to relax her and loosen her inhibitions again. To remind her that as much as he needed to prove to himself he was a decent person and could put someone else’s needs first, she’d promised herself something as well—that she’d take this one week to break free and be herself. That she’d experiment, with no constraints, problems or reporters to hinder her inhibitions.
She’d trusted Doug to give her ultimate pleasure once before. Modesty and shyness wouldn’t help either of them now. “Doug?”
“Yes?”
She grasped on to the short length of time they had left on the island—the time they had left together—and marshaled the courage she needed. “Are you still turned on?”
He sucked in a deep breath of air. The “yes” came out in a drawn-out hiss, one he couldn’t hold back, though he’d obviously tried. She’d take it as an affirmative answer.
Grasping on to the ends of the white towel, she pulled him close. She inhaled his potent, masculine scent, and her body, already on the edge, reacted. Her nipples tightened and desire coiled deep in her belly—both familiar and welcome reactions to this man.
Familiar. In a short time he’d become more familiar and endearing than her ex-fiancé ever had been. Why had she been willing to settle for less? “Let me take care of you this time.”
She spoke the words at the same time she covered his mouth with her own, using the movement of her lips and the vibration of speech to make her point. To arouse him with her words and her touch, just as he’d done to her.
His hands gripped her shoulders and she felt his indecision in the way he kept the kiss light and his hold on her firm, preventing their bodies from touching intimately. Just because Juliette now knew what caused his hesitation didn’t mean she’d allow him to turn her away. Testing her feminine wiles, testing him, she teased his lips with a light flicker of her tongue.
She obviously made her point because his heartfelt groan resulted in a change—their kiss became the deepest, sweetest one she’d ever known. Juliette figured she’d made headway. And when he matched her move, dipped into her mouth with his tongue, she stopped thinking at all.
CHAPTER SIX
SWEET HEAVEN. And that’s where he was. Losing himself in her warm, wet, willing mouth once more. Warning bells were ringing hard, but he couldn’t bring himself to heed them. Doug didn’t break the kiss as his hands slid from her shoulders and around her back, settling on her waist. Barriers, even silken ones, were no longer acceptable and he lifted the flowing material so he could caress her soft skin.
She stopped him with a firm grip on his wrists. “Your turn, remember?”
Her voice broke through the haze of desire, bringing him back to reality. He didn’t want anything from her.
He swallowed a curse. He might lie to her but he wouldn’t lie to himself. He wanted anything and everything she had to give. He just couldn’t let himself take. “I told you I didn’t expect anything in return.” His voice sounded rough to his own ears.
“I know that. You gave because you wanted to, even if you were proving a point to yourself. Now I want to give back.” She drew a deep breath, one Doug knew for certain was for courage, and then placed her hand on the front placket of his jeans.
He gritted his teeth. She must have sensed his aching need because she cupped him more firmly and slid her palm down then up again in an excruciatingly slow but tantalizing movement. Certainty combined with endearing hesitancy showed in her face as she felt, tested and learned his shape and contours. His body came alive beneath her touch and he barely held himself in check.
“Are you going to deny you like that?” she asked.
He couldn’t admit or deny. Need and arousal collided inside him, fast and intense. “I think the hard evidence speaks for itself.”
She laughed, the sound light and easy, despite their serious conversation and the fact that they were both on the edge. But when she reached for the button on his jeans, Doug knew he had to call a stop. Now, before things went too far. But he also knew he’d be hurting her if he turned her away.
Although he’d explained his fantasy, she was still vulnerable and she’d never completely understand why he stopped so soon. Considering how badly he wanted her, he was having a hard time understanding it himself—and he was in possession of the facts.
Holding back, not taking what she offered and losing himself inside her willing body—Doug didn’t recognize the man making the sacrifice. He hadn’t done many things in his life to be proud of, Doug thought. Obtaining and printing facts by any means possible, even if they revealed others’ failings, hardly qualified him for sainthood.
Yet here he was, denying himself what he wanted most, what he wanted even more than the information she possessed, because it was best for Juliette.
She was new and special and brought something good into his life. In an ironic way, he owed her for that, Doug thought. And this was the only way he could repay her.
She flipped open the button on his jeans and her fingers grabbed the zipper next. He inhaled, wondering how to stop her.