“I’m getting married,” he told his father. And that was the reason for this visit.
Although Kevin had given up on having a real father years ago, he couldn’t face this day without at least letting the old man know he was tying the knot. That he intended to make a go of this marriage. Hell, he intended to make a go of his life—despite his parentage.
If he were honest with himself, Kevin knew he wanted his father’s blessing—something he’d never get. But here he was anyway, a sucker for punishment.
“Well at least you’re doing the right thing,” Max muttered.
“Like you did?”
“I never said...”
“You didn’t have to.” Kevin walked over to the worn plastic chair he’d spent a night in and sat down. Sunlight streamed through the blinds and heated his back. “You reminded Mom that she’d trapped you and destroyed your life every day she lived under your roof.”
He shrugged. “Don’t think you won’t be doing the same thing. Coming home every day to a reminder of how you got tied down.”
It shouldn’t hurt to hear his father’s feelings on parenthood. He’d been exposed to it often enough as a child. Yet on the verge of a major life change himself, Kevin wanted some support. He knew an I’m proud of you, son would have been too much to ask for, but he’d have at least liked a pat on the back.
Kevin rose from his seat. “Nikki’s not tying me down. Besides it takes two to tango,” he reminded his father. Not that Max understood the concept of responsibility.
“Talk to me in a couple a years and you’ll feel differently. In the meantime when are you gonna get me sprung?”
“When the doctor says it’s time.” Kevin glanced at his watch. “I have a wedding to get to.”
“It won’t be a party without your old man.”
Which was exactly why Kevin had insisted on not postponing the wedding until Max was out of the hospital. He wanted to start his new life with dignity and hope. He wanted to believe he could be the exception to the rule. That this Manning could take care of more than just himself, but his wife and child, as well.
He glanced over his shoulder. But if the man lying in the hospital bed was the foundation on which his future—and Nikki’s future—had been laid, they were in serious trouble.
* * *
Kevin paced the floor outside the justice of the peace, wondering if Nikki had finally come to her senses and changed her mind. He wouldn’t blame her if she had.
He’d slept alone in his big rambling house last night, for the first time since she had moved in. The loneliness had been overwhelming. Everywhere he turned, he’d seen signs of Nikki. On the kitchen table, a vase filled with freshly cut flowers. On the windows, curtains she’d made herself from a variety of sheets and fabrics. Personal touches that had turned his empty house into a home. He hadn’t noticed before and wondered if it was too late now that he had.
Visiting Max had been his way of bridging the past and the present. Now he waited for Nikki and hoped she’d give their future a shot.
By the time Janine’s cream-colored car pulled up in front of the small house owned by the man who would marry them, Kevin’s sense of relief was palpable. His palms were even damp and he felt like a damn kid asking a girl on a first date. He refused to question why his emotions rode him so strongly. Yes, he wanted the best for his baby and marriage would help provide it, and yes, he needed to know he’d have the opportunity to be there for both Nikki and his child. But at some point marrying Nikki had become important to him for more personal reasons. Reasons he didn’t want to deal with at the moment.
She was here and that was all that mattered.
She stepped out of the car and Kevin’s breath caught in his throat. By mutual agreement they hadn’t planned an elaborate ceremony and he hadn’t given much thought to details. Obviously, she had.
Her cream-colored suit contrasted with her jet-black hair and offset her skin. As corny as it sounded, she glowed. He started toward her and realized her cheeks were a bright shade of pink. He wondered if it was the pregnancy or the wedding that had her so flushed.
He stopped in front of her and met her gaze. Those violet eyes were wide and if he wasn’t mistaken, she was as anxious as he. Over her shoulder, he saw Janine standing by the car. Obviously she wanted to give them time alone, but Kevin could have used her distraction right about now.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
She reached out and brushed a hand over his one and only suit. Weddings, funerals, command performances—this suit had seen it all. “You look pretty good yourself,” she said softly. “Kevin...” She bit down on her lower lip. “Are you sure about this? You could walk away and I wouldn’t think any less of you.”
“But maybe I would.” He grasped her chin in his hand. “Are you sure?”
She let out an uncertain laugh. “I wouldn’t want these flowers to go to waste.”
He glanced down, noticing for the first time the delicate bouquet of white flowers she carried in her hand. He cursed himself for not thinking of that kind of thing, for not knowing the little things that would make her feel special. “Is that the only reason you’re going through with this?” he asked.
He knew his reasons for the marriage or at least he thought he did. Seeing Nikki now, realizing how deep his fear went that she’d back out on him, he wasn’t so sure there wasn’t more involved here than obligation and responsibility. And that scared him. Because when he let her down—and given his history, there wasn’t a question that he would—he’d lose much more than he’d ever imagined. So he needed to know her reasons, and he needed them badly.