“Perfectly fine. If I wasn’t you’d have heard about it. We live in the same house, after all.”
But they barely communicated. Funny how he’d miss something he’d never really had. Nikki was sleeping beside him, but not with him. He sensed in his gut the next move was his, but damned if he knew how to make it or bridge the gap that was of his own making. He didn’t let her into his life, so she didn’t let him into her body. Somehow it didn’t seem like a fair exchange.
“You ready?” he asked.
She nodded and minutes later, they were ushered into a small but modern-looking room. Immaculately clean and antiseptic-smelling, the examining room was a far cry from the dilapidated one downtown. And though Nikki got the same care from the same doctor, he couldn’t help but be grateful she’d given in on this point and allowed him to foot the bill for private practice. At least he could feel like he was taking care of his family in a way that counted.
His family. Before he could process that thought, the door opened and Dr. Molloy entered.
She glanced at Nikki. “It’s good to see you again, Nicole.” Then she turned toward Kevin. “Mr. Manning. I’m glad to see you two have worked things out.”
“I’d be foolish to turn down good medical care, Dr. Molloy.” Nikki smiled, but Kevin wasn’t fooled by her affable demeanor. As a general rule, she barely said two words to him without him prompting her first. This morning’s “I have a doctor appointment at noon, remember?” was the longest sentence to pass from her lips.
He hadn’t forgotten but he was grateful she’d included him on her own. Otherwise he’d have to resort to caveman tactics again, and he didn’t relish another scene in front of the good doctor.
“Well, I wasn’t talking about using my private practice instead of the clinic,” she said wryly. “But I think you made a wise decision. Now let’s get started. Nikki, since this is a routine monthly visit, you don’t need to undress. Just let me see that stomach and you’ll be out of here before you know it.”
Kevin watched as the doctor readied a small machine. With barely a glance in his direction, Nikki lifted her shirt to reveal her pale, rounded stomach.
He walked around to the side of the examining table and reached for her hand. Her protest was minimal—a slight resistant tug against his hand, but when he refused to release her, she stilled.
“Everything okay?” Dr. Molloy asked her. “Any unusual symptoms, questions?”
Nikki shook her head. “Everything’s been fine lately.”
“Nausea’s gone?”
“Thank goodness.”
The doctor glanced at the chart. “You’ve gained two pounds. That’s good considering you’re merely putting back on what you lost during the first trimester.” She shook a white bottle in her hand. “This might be cold,” she warned, before squeezing the gel onto Nikki’s exposed skin.
He watched, mesmerized by the sight of her flesh, by the knowledge that his baby lay growing inside her.
“Now I’m going to listen for this little guy’s—or girl’s—heartbeat. Ready?” she asked, then began rolling what appeared to be a rectangular-shaped instrument over the gel coating Nikki’s stomach.
Without warning, a strong and steady sound reverberated throughout the room. “Hear that?” Dr. Molloy glanced up and met his gaze, a wide smile on her face.
He had the distinct sense that no matter how many times a day she heard the sound, Dr. Molloy got as big a kick out of the sound as her patients and their respective spouses. He listened in awe. Everything else in the room faded until only the combination of a whooshing noise and the distinct thump of his baby’s heartbeat remained.
“That’s... him?” Nikki asked, breaking into his concentration.
The doctor nodded. “Or her. Have you two discussed whether or not you want to know the baby’s sex ahead of time?”
Sex. A boy or a girl. No longer an indistinct blur on a monitor screen, the whooshing sound confirmed what he already knew. They’d created a life. Together. Pride and many other emotions swelled in his chest and clogged his throat until he could barely swallow, let alone breathe.
“Knowing the baby’s
sex.” Nikki’s voice cracked as she spoke. “I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it” She rolled her head to the side and met his gaze. For the first time in two days, Nikki’s emotions were raw and visible for him to see.
He understood because for perhaps the first time in his life, his were just as exposed. And he wasn’t as uncomfortable as he’d imagined he’d be.
“What do you think, Kevin?” Nikki asked, obviously referring to the baby’s sex.
He’d given a lot of thought to her accusations of control the other night and much as he’d have liked to turn a deaf ear, he couldn’t ignore the truth. Or the fact that the controlling part of his nature was likely to drive her away and distance him from his child. He’d resolved to tread lightly or at least attempt to talk himself out of the burning need to hold the reins on everyone and everything around him.
The doctor had given him his first opportunity to back off and give Nikki space. Hoping to let her know he’d go along with whatever she wanted, he gave her hand a brief squeeze.
He glanced at Dr. Molloy. “Whatever Nikki wants is fine with me.”