"I suppose."
"I think you have. I think you know me better than anyone else in my life, short of my family, and that's because they don't give up when they want answers." As always, his eyes sparkled with warmth and humor when he spoke of them. "But you know me in a different way."
"What do you mean?" She swallowed hard, unsure of where he was going with this.
"It's a gut feeling kind of thing. You seem to sense when I need space and you sense when I could use company. You understand the career thing and you don't put pressure on me one way or another."
Without warning, laughter bubbled up from inside her. "I came to your apartment and told you it was time to grow up. You don't call that putting pressure on you?” she asked in disbelief.
The corners of his mouth lifted in an endearing, sexy grin. "See that's another thing. When you read me the riot act, it doesn't sound like my family telling me what to do or your uncle guiding my career."
She glanced down at her sneakered feet. "What's it sound like?"
"It sounds like you telling me what I know deep down inside except I need to hear it out loud from someone I trust. And that someone is you." He reached out and lifted her chin so their gazes met and she couldn't avoid him or their conversation.
This was getting very personal and intimate. She wiped her damp palms beside her on the grass, suddenly nervous and frightened.
Since her parents had died and Micki had fallen into the habit of relying on Annabelle and Uncle Yank to bolster her emotionally, she was seldom scared. She rarely found a situation she wasn't ready to meet head-on. Damian presented that rare emotional challenge and, like when she'd come to Sophie for tips on how to be more of a girl, Micki again found herself at a loss.
"I'm not surprised we connected that way. I have a knack for understanding the athlete's psyche" She deliberately depersonalized what they shared, unwilling to put her heart on the line.
"Don't," he barked out, startling her and she jumped. "Don't put up the one of the guys front and definitely don't try and tell me that what's between us is no different than what you share with your other clients." His eyes flashed with anger and obvious hurt.
Micki sought for a way to explain when Noodle bounded toward them and landed squarely in Damian's lap. "She must have heard you yell," Micki said.
Damian clenched his jaw, his frustration with Micki unmatched by anything he'd ever felt before as blood pounded inside his head. "I didn't yell," he said in a tense but calmer tone.
"You raised your voice and the dog heard."
"And I didn't come here to talk about the dog or to let you use her as a buffer or an excuse to avoid a serious conversation."
She lifted her chin a notch. "Okay then, no more beating around the bush. What did you come here to say?"
This was the Micki he knew, the one who refused to run from a confrontation or discussion. The one who'd stood by him even when he'd known how difficult that must have been.
He covered her hand with his, running his fingers over her smooth skin and gathering his courage at the same time. "I've never said this to anyone before," he said, speaking as quickly as the thoughts came to mind. "I've never even thought it about anyone before."
He glanced up to see her watching him. Her blue eyes were wide and clear, her fear as palpable as his own.
Well, Damian thought, at least they were in this together. "I love you, Micki Jordan."
She just stared at him for a moment and then murmured barely above a whisper, "I love you, too." She blinked and a tear fell. "But…”
With that one little word, his stomach cramped like crazy. "But what?"
"You're coming off a situation you can't even begin to have dealt with and when you do, you have a life waiting. A life by your own admission that you love. You don't want to be tied down. You don't need a woman who wants more from you than you're capable of giving. And I'm not going to put myself through the hell of letting you go twice." She jumped up from her cross-legged position and stood, unraveling Noodle's leash.
That she'd just up and leave panicked him because she seemed so serious, he didn't know if he'd ever get her back. "My own words coming back to bite me," he muttered. "I've changed. The situation with the baby? It made me reevaluate what I want out of life. What I want beyond baseball. I want you."
"You got used to having me around," she countered. "Big difference" She bent down and hooked the dog's leash to his collar, giving Damian a clear view down her shirt to her softly rounded cleavage.
His groin hardened at the sight. Micki tempted him like no other woman ever had and for the first time in his life he knew even forever wouldn't be enough time to spend with her. Or inside her.
Once she pulled the dog to her side, he rose beside her. "Don't you think I know the difference?"
"In time you will. Right now you're confused and I don't want to have invested more of myself only to have you finally come to see I was right." She scooped the dog into her arms where he happily settled in. "You don't need me anymore, so just go back to living your life. Enjoy your freedom. You got lucky, now act like it." She trembled, giving him hope that this mindset would change once she believed his words. Believed in him.
Maybe it was just too fast, Damian thought. Maybe she needed time. "Before you go, want to know what I felt when I discovered the baby wasn't mine? Once the reality set in?"