He swallowed hard, and, respecting her wishes, he hit the unlock button. She yanked open the door, climbed out, and put Steve gently on the passenger seat. She touched him one last time before meeting Julian’s gaze. “Bye,” she whispered. She straightened and slammed the door shut.
He closed his eyes, smarting from her words. They hurt. But he didn’t blame her for being scared. He did, however, know what existed between them, what that kiss had reignited.
He watched as she hailed a cab, waiting until she was safely inside one before pulling back onto the street.
He glanced at Steve, who met his gaze and yawned. “Yeah, I know. I didn’t want her to leave, either.” But after that kiss, he had hope. She’d run, but she would think. And that’s all he could ask for.
* * *
As soon as Kendall got home, she took Waffles for a long walk. Not only did her dog need the exercise, she needed to think, and she had to do it alone.
Kendall couldn’t tell her sister about seeing Julian. Lexie wouldn’t understand. She was protective of Kendall, for good reason. Even if Kendall felt she could now make her own positive decisions, no matter what they might be, her twin needed time to learn the same thing.
This was when Kendall found life the hardest. Not having a close friend to go to and discuss girl things—because Lexie was her person. And Kendall, during her many mood phases, had driven everyone else away. She was just starting to rebuild her life with people like Josie. One step, one person at a time.
She swallowed hard. She would have to work through her feelings both on her own and with her therapist. And boy, did she have feelings. That kiss had ignited a firestorm of emotions inside her. Ones she’d thought she’d buried when she stopped letting herself think about Julian.
He’d been so gentle, so tender. So unlike the man he’d been when they were together before. Oh, the chemistry was just as potent now, but there was an emotional element that was fresh and new. Kendall hadn’t been capable of digging that deep into herself then. She was now, and she sensed all of the emotion Julian had poured into that one kiss. There was a caring she couldn’t deny. No matter how much her rational self wanted to. Watching him with Steve, the sweetness he’d shown the dog had affected her, too.
And his apology. I’m sorry was easy to say. Meaning it was something else entirely, and he’d obviously given his behavior real thought. He seemed to own his mistakes.
But hadn’t she believed him before?
He’d swept into her life like a storm, flirting with her at the gym, complimenting her, finding all they had in common, and yeah, sweeping her off her feet. Of course, she’d been on a high at the time, all too amenable to his charms.
She paused when Waffles stopped to do his business, cleaning up after him and tossing the bag into the nearest trash before heading back home.
Julian wanted a second chance, and damn him, he’d begun making inroads, chipping away at her hurt and anger. She knew what it was like to make mistakes, to need someone else to see beyond the past and accept her apology. How could she offer him anything less than what she’d received herself? From Lexie. From Kade.
But along with that acceptance came the belief that maybe he really had changed. And if so, if he was a different man, then she couldn’t help but wonder if things between them could be different this time. Because the hard truth was she hadn’t stopped wanting him. Their searing kiss had proven that. But beyond the physical yearning to be close to him was an emotional pull, too.
Waffles rushed ahead, and she tugged on the leash, slowing him down. She wasn’t quite ready to let Julian go for good, and that scared her because she didn’t know if she could trust her instincts… or him.
* * *
The next day, Kendall was dragging from lack of sleep. She knew she had thoughts of Julian to blame, but she pushed herself to perk up and show up at work on time. She let herself inside, a Starbucks coffee in either hand.
“You look exhausted,” Josie said as soon as Kendall walked in the door.
“I’m beat. But there’s caffeine to help make it easier. I brought you a cup.” She placed the grande on the desk where Josie sat.
“Thank you. I think I love you,” she said, taking a long sip.
Kendall laughed. “I wasn’t going to make it without some.” She lived on vanilla chais. She tossed her bag onto her desk and settled into her chair.
“Sorry I had to leave early yesterday. What did I miss?” Josie asked.
Only everything, Kendall thought wryly. “Julian had a problem with Steve last night.” She went on to explain how she’d gone to his place and accompanied him to the vet. “I know it’s not standard protocol for us to join them for a vet visit after adoption, but he sounded so distraught.”
“And it was Steve. And you’re invested. I know,” Josie said, meeting her gaze. “Is he okay?”
Kendall nodded. “He was dehydrated. They gave him sub-q fluids and a bland diet and medicine. I don’t know how he was overnight or this morning.” She was curious, but she hesitated to call and renew contact.
“I can check in… unless you want to do it?” Josie asked. “I mean, you did step up last night and help. And didn’t you say you two knew each other?”
Kendall wanted to confide in Josie, but how much did she tell her? They were friends, but they weren’t so close that she knew about Kendall’s past. She’d been hesitant to give her the full rundown, not wanting to lose her job because she’d provided reasons for her boss to distrust her. Or not want to be her friend. Kendall had reason to be cautious.
“We have history,” she admitted about Julian.