“No.” Julian pinched the bridge of his nose. He had to make this better.
He needed Kendall in his life, and she needed him in hers.
“You have a plan?” Nick asked.
Julian rolled his head, the muscles in his neck and shoulders stiff. Although he’d waited a week, though he’d wallowed in self-pity, in the back of his mind, he’d known all along what he needed to do.
He’d just needed time to put the pieces together in his mind, to work out his own demons in his head. “I plan to let Kade know I’m not going to back down—and that I mean it this time. That I’m in it for the long haul. That’s the only way to prove I’m the man I say I am.”
“And then?” Nick asked, an approving grin on his face.
“I’ll go get my girl.”
Chapter Fourteen
Shopping with an eighteen-year-old girl was not for the weak. Together Kendall and Alex hit many small boutique stores in Soho that were reasonably priced and some better-known chain stores. Alex tried on more clothes than Kendall owned—and shopping sprees had been her Achilles’ heel during her improperly or unmedicated days. Her father had paid off many a ridiculous bill, she thought, flushing with pained embarrassment at the memory.
Finally Alex chose a floral summer dress with a halter top and a pair of sandals with a chunky high heel. She was riding the high of success Kendall remembered well but no longer felt. She was just happy and living vicariously through Alex’s excitement for her date.
When they parted ways, they were still downtown. Alex headed uptown to the library to work, and Kendall decided, since she was in the neighborhood, to pay her sister and her brother-in-law a visit.
She’d managed to cut Lexie short whenever she called this past week, needing time to nurse her anger and hurt and to think about what she wanted to say and how she wanted to handle the situation before she just blurted out mean-spirited things she couldn’t take back and really didn’t mean. Her therapy appointments had also helped put things into perspective.
She was still hurt by Julian. Incredibly hurt, but her anger had dissipated in light of serious thought and understanding. He had his issues like she did. And she knew he was afraid she’d choose her sister over him.
After all, she’d pulled away and spelled out her deep need not to disappoint her twin. He was just giving her what she thought she needed… also reacting to his own fears and a healthy dose of uncertainty and distrust of people in general, Kade especially.
Did she blame him for breaking up with her if he really loved her like he claimed? Yes, yes she did. But a part of her understood the need to do it before what he thought was inevitable happened—she left him—and it hurt even more.
She’d given him a week and was debating going over to see him and make him confront what was between them. If he really did love her, how could he walk away?
But first she had something to settle with her sister and brother-in-law.
When she arrived at Blink, Lexie was in Kade’s office with the door open, so Kendall knocked.
“Come on in,” Kade called.
“Kendall!” Lexie was on her feet and hugging her before Kendall could draw a breath, her arms holding on tight.
Kendall swallowed an onslaught of emotion and wrapped her arms around her sister, too.
“I’m sorry,” Lexie said. “We went too far and I’m sorry.” Her voice wobbled with the same emotion running through Kendall.
“I wouldn’t say too far but… I’m sorry I upset you,” Kade said, sounding like the words were pulled from him but no less heartfelt. She didn’t expect him to regret his intrusive behavior. It was his way of looking out for her even if she didn’t like it.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
Kendall stepped away from her twin and brushed at her damp eyes. “I came to tell you guys a few things, and I need you to hear me.”
“I’m listening,” Lexie assured her. She stepped over to Kade, lacing her hand through his and clearly giving him a squeeze.
“Of course I’m listening. And I’m hearing you,” he promised.
Kendall smiled in thanks and turned to her sister. “Okay, well, first, you should know I will always be eternally grateful for all you did for me, all you sacrificed, and all you gave up to try and keep me on a sane, healthy path. I will never forget it, and I want to think I’d do the same for you.”
Lexie nodded, the emotion clear in her expression. “I love you.”
Kendall swallowed hard. “Me, too. That’s why this next part is so hard for me to say, but here goes. I’m an adult now. And yes, I’ve made mistakes, and yes, I’ve been ill, but I’m better and I’ve proven that by now. I take my medicine every day. I’m in therapy. If I feel off and it goes on too long, I let my doctor know and ask for a medication adjustment. I’m living as good a life as I can.”