Which meant whatever he wanted to know was more important to him than lifting her dress, ripping off her panties, and thrusting inside her.
That cooled off her libido. “About what?” she asked, though now that her brain was back in control, she had a feeling she already knew.
He led her to the couch and resettled her where they’d been before except he pulled her onto his lap. Instead of desire, nerves settled inside her.
“What did Tyler mean, asking if you had a panic attack getting past the photographers?”
She swallowed hard. She’d never admitted the truth to him back in high school because she’d been mortified by her weakness. She tried to pretend the problem didn’t exist, and if she took daily medication and life stayed on a fairly even keel, it didn’t. She’d tried going off the medication once before only to have intermittent attacks occur and a low level of anxiety exist as her constant friend. Hence she’d gone back on daily maintenance medication.
She’d gotten past the embarrassment and stigma of having a generalized anxiety disorder … except now she was faced with telling Grey. A man who got up on stage in front of hundreds of thousands and had no such issues. She didn’t know if he understood them … or wanted to.
He ran his hand over her back. “You can tell me anything.”
“Can I?” she asked, the thoughtless words coming out.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, hurt in his voice and in his stricken expression.
She sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just …”
Grey shook his head. “No apologies necessary. I want you to talk to me, so start at the beginning. When did you have your first panic attack?”
Avery nodded. “When I left the hospital after the bone marrow donation.”
As Grey listened, she explained how the reporters had been lying in wait to question her and her mother when she’d walked out of the building.
“It was awful. Like today except worse because I was just nine. They surrounded us like a pack of jackals and asked my mother the most embarrassing questions.”
Having been on the receiving end of such questions, Grey could imagine.
“My mother held me tight against her and tried to lead me to the car, but they were so close. The bright lights, the shouting. I tried to keep it together but … I passed out.” Even now, her cheeks flushed, and it killed Grey to think she was embarrassed to tell him.
“They’re uncaring animals. Even children aren’t off-limits. I hate that you went through that.” He continued stroking her back, hoping he could both soothe her and keep her talking. “What happened after that?”
“I came to in an ER cubicle. My mom was frantic. It was almost a relief when they said it was a panic attack and nothing more serious.”
He was afraid to ask but figured he might as well get all the ugly out at once. “And your dad? Where was he in all this?”
She froze in his arms. “With his sick daughter, Sienna, and her mother.”
Grey hated Robert Dare as much if not more than he hated his own father. “Aww, baby. You’re lucky you had your mom.”
“I know. She was—is—amazing. She could have brushed it off as a one-time incident, but she didn’t. Between the bone marrow and the passing out, she was worried about me. At the pediatrician’s suggestion, she took me to a child psychologist, and they worked with me on calming exercises.”
“Did they help?”
“Not so much.”
He figured. Because Tyler wouldn’t have mentioned them earlier if they hadn’t happened again.
Grey tangled his hands in her hair and nuzzled her neck, inhaling her scent, finding comfort as much as he hoped he was instilling some in her. “Keep going,” he said.
“The kids at school were brutal, so yeah. The panic attacks continued.”
She curled into him, and he held on tight, wanting to never let go.
“Eventually the doctor prescribed child-safe meds. And as I got older, crowds or certain situations would trigger things again. But by then I could take other medications, and things got under control. I’m fine.”
She shrugged, clearly trying to play off the situation, something he couldn’t allow. “Except you weren’t fine today. Because you had to run the gauntlet of reporters just like you did back then, right?”