“I didn’t pass out.” She pushed herself off him and turned so she straddled his lap instead of being tucked into him. “I admit that I panicked … I had the symptoms, and when I got into my room, I took a Xanax for the first time in a long while, but I didn’t pass out,” she said with strength and conviction.
As if she wanted him to know she was strong. And he did. “Sugar, I know you handled it. I got here and you were giving your brother hell,” he said with pride in his voice. “So no worries there.” He pulled in a long breath, then took the conversation where he dreaded going. “The thing is, it’s part of my life, not yours, and you hate it. Which means you shouldn’t have to handle it. Especially when it brings back such painful memories.”
His heart hurt because he wanted her to associate him with good times, not bad. Yet he didn’t know how to fix things for her. For them.
“I’ve seriously given this a lot of thought.” She met his gaze, her eyes damp but focused on his.
He did his best to ignore the heat of her sex above his, to tamp down the uncomfortable erection caused by her position above him. Instead he focused on her words because those moist eyes made him nervous.
“You say you’re home to stay, and you believe it when you say it. But I know you, and music is in your heart. Playing to the crowd is in your soul. And eventually, normal life will get boring. Music will call to you, or the lure of the fans and touring will. And I’m not going to be the one to hold you back.”
His heart, the one she claimed belonged to music, beat hard and painfully in his chest. “What are you trying to say?” Because it sounded like an ending, not the beginning he craved.
“I’m saying that I’m here with you now. I want this time with you again except I’m older and wiser than I was before. When you go this time, I’ll be more prepared. So whatever I have to deal with now, the press, the bodyguard, I’ll get through it in order to have you. For however long it lasts.” With tears in her eyes, she leaned close and sealed her lips over his.
Grey kissed her back, his heart in every touch of her lips and swipe of her tongue. His mind, however, was on her words. She was here because she thought this was short term. She wasn’t panicking per se, because she didn’t believe he’d be part of her future. While he was trying to cement himself in the very fabric of her being, she was holding herself back, preparing for what she perceived as an inevitable end.
His heart nearly broke at the thought. He wanted to correct her, to set things straight, but doing so might be even worse. If he persisted in trying to convince her how serious he was about their future, if she thought she’d have to deal with the paparazzi and groupies long term, she might cut him off immediately. He couldn’t handle losing her before he ever really had her again.
Better he stick with his original plan and make himself such a part of her life, so indispensable to her, show her how in love with her he really was … she’d be willing to put up with anything for them to be together.
And he did love her. Not the memory of her, not the girl she’d been, but the strong, beautiful woman she was now. All of her. So he’d prove to her that he was willing to give up the touring and the insanity of the road for the chance at normal. With her by his side.
He gripped her hair, tilted her head, and kissed her harder, taking control before he lost his damn mind by thinking too much. He tugged at the long strands, and she rewarded him with a shuddering moan, rocking her hips against his. Arousal built swiftly, as did the need slamming inside her and reminding them both that together they were bigger and better than they were alone.
“Avery? Is that asshole gone?”
“Ella!” Avery squeaked, her hands pushing against his chest as she quickly rolled off him. She scooted into a sitting position while he grabbed the nearest throw pillow and covered his straining, obvious erection.
“Oh my God, I’m sorry.” Her roommate spun around in a flash of light brown hair so she could scurry back to her room.
“Don’t go!” Avery said to her roommate.
Why the fuck not? Grey wondered.
“Are you sure?” Ell
a peered over her shoulder, giving Grey his first glimpse of her face.
“Yes. I think introductions are in order.” Avery pulled herself together quicker than Grey was managing. “Ella Shaw, this is Grey Kingston.”
Since he and Avery had only been together for senior year, though by the intensity of their feelings it felt like much longer, he hadn’t met Ella in person. He had, however, heard a lot about her.
Cheeks flushed with embarrassment, she walked over and stuck out her hand. “Umm, nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” he said, shifting uncomfortably and grateful for the pillow, which she clearly hadn’t missed.
“God, could today get any worse?” Ella asked.
Grey shook his head, knowing he had to put the poor woman at ease. “It can only get better from here.”
“He’s right,” Avery said. “And Tyler’s gone, so that’s a start for you.”
That comment broke the ice, and Ella laughed, a genuine, honest giggle that Grey enjoyed, especially at Tyler’s expense.
“Are you leaving for the airport soon?” Avery asked. She turned to Grey. “Ella works for a Miami-based designer who keeps her hopping with photo shoots and meetings.”
“Sounds like fun.”