My night had been spent twisted in my sheets.
Overheated.
Overwhelmed.
Overcome.
My heart thudding with the shout, What had I done?
Tessa cocked her head, purebred hunter that she was, her eyes widening and her mouth dropping open. Her words were held on a hissed whisper as she looked around to make sure the rest of the teachers weren’t paying us any attention. “You had s-e-x.”
Yeah, like she was speaking in code and there was no one else who could decipher what she said if they were to overhear it.
“I did not,” I hissed right back.
Her blue eyes narrowed. “Liar.”
I crossed my arms in defense. “I didn’t…exactly.”
She crossed hers in speculation. “Didn’t exactly what?” she pressed, brow shooting for the sky.
Ugh.
“I didn’t officially.” I tossed it out all offhanded like.
No big deal.
Like my best friend didn’t know me inside and out. Like she didn’t know it would be a really big deal.
Her jaw hit the floor, and she snatched me by the wrist, glancing behind us once before she dragged me into the large storage closet. The door snapped shut behind us at the same second the demand slung out of her mouth. “What did you just say?”
I fidgeted, the words so quiet I doubted they had volume. “I said, not officially.”
Her hand curled tighter around my wrist. “Oh my god…I was joking. Trying to get a rise out of you…and you did?!” The shriek she let go was barely contained.
“I already told you I didn’t.”
“But you did…you did. Like there was hot, hot nekedness going down? Tell me it’s true.” Her voice hitched like she’d been granted her greatest wish.
I smacked at her, wrangling out of her hold. “What is wrong with you? This is my daddy’s school and there are five other teachers on the other side of that door.” In emphasis, I jabbed a finger at it.
I was no little girl, but the last thing I needed was my father to catch wind of what I’d been up to last night. He had enough on his mind without my worrying him more.
And oh, would he worry.
“Um…our school, too. And newsflash, your dad just wants you to be happy, the same way as I do.”
“Ha. He’d get one look at Trent and lock me in a closet with lined padding.”
Certain I’d lost my mind.
I probably had.
“Look at you…our little Eden sleeping with her boss.” She said it like it was salacious. A straight-up scandal. All with a twinkle in her eye.
“Again, I didn’t sleep with him.”
She angled back in clear appraisal. “Well, whatever you did, the man clearly blew your mind.”
My teeth clamped down on my bottom lip, my chest nearly exploding as I was thrown back to it. I dropped my gaze, warring, before I peeked at my best friend. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt the way I did last night.”
Beautiful.
Wanted.
Something different than adored. Beyond it or maybe at the opposite of it.
An encounter so desperate that it verged on criminal.
A decadent sin.
It’d felt as if the man might die if he didn’t get a taste of me, the same way I’d felt about him.
A man who held the ugliest of secrets. One who’d let me take a peek into the skeletons buried in his closet, invited me into his confidence.
Trusted me.
Even then, I was betting I’d only scratched the surface of how corrupt it got.
In the end, it still hadn’t mattered.
The fact he was all wrong.
That he was dangerous.
Everything I shouldn’t want.
Everything I should fear.
I’d still surrendered to the pull.
“And you feel guilty?” Tessa surmised, softness winding into her tone.
“Shouldn’t I?”
Her expression deepened in profound encouragement. “It’s been six years, Eden.”
Old agony tightened my chest, all mixed up with this new beginning that I wasn’t sure could be real. Something I needed to snuff out before it burned me alive.
“But I always thought…” I trailed off.
Tessa inched closer, all her teasing gone, her understanding firm and fast. “What?”
The words rushed out on a shamed whisper, “I always thought if I felt something again…wanted someone again…loved someone again, it would be secondary. Less.”
“And you’re afraid this Trent guy could overshadow your memories of Aaron.”
I heaved a breath and gave her the bare truth. “I’m afraid he could consume me. Destroy me with a glance. And I know this time, I’m not going to come out okay on the other side.”
“He’s your wild card.”
My brow curled.
“The one you didn’t expect. The one you couldn’t have anticipated. The one you could love so much, you’re afraid to try. The ace. The winning number.” She leaned forward, and her tone slipped back into a tease. “Eden, he’s the cake.”
Her lips twitched at that, and tears blurred my eyes while an unamused laugh slipped up my throat. “What I’m afraid of is that he is a broken heart.”
I couldn’t bear to tell her the rest. His history. The evil that lurked. That he was doing little more than running. Hiding from his sins. From his pain. From his loss.