Sideways Stories from Wayside School (Wayside School 1)

“No, you got the right answer, but you counted the wrong way again.” She put three books on his desk. “Count the books, Joe.”

Joe counted the books. “A thousand, a million, three. Three, Mrs. Jewls.”

“Correct,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“May I go to recess now?” Joe asked.

“No” said Mrs Jewls.

“May I have a potato?” asked Joe.

“No. Listen to me. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Now you say it.”

“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,” said Joe.

“Very good!” said Mrs. Jewls. She put six erasers on his desk. “Now count the erasers, Joe, just the way I showed you.”

Joe counted the erasers. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. There are ten, Mrs. Jewls.”

“No,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“Didn’t I count right?” asked Joe.

“Yes, you counted right, but you got the wrong answer,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” said Joe. “When I count the wrong way I get the right answer, and when I count right I get the wrong answer.”

Mrs. Jewls hit her head against the wall five times. “How many times did I hit my head against the wall?” she asked.

“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. You hit your head against the wall ten times,” said Joe.

“No,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“Four, six, one, nine, five. You hit your head five times,” said Joe.

Mrs. Jewls shook her head no and said, “Yes, that is right.”

The bell rang, and all the other children came back from recess. The fresh air had

made them very excited, and they were laughing and shouting.

“Oh, darn.” said Joe. “Now I missed recess.”

“Hey, Joe, where were you?” asked John. “You missed a great game of kickball.”

“I kicked a home run,” said Todd.

“What was wrong with you, Joe?” asked Joy.

“Nothing,” said Joe. “Mrs. Jewls was just trying to teach me how to count.”

Joy laughed. “You mean you don’t know how to count!”

“Counting is easy,” said Maurecia.

“Now, now,” said Mrs. Jewls. “What’s easy for you may not be easy for Joe, and what’s easy for Joe may not be easy for you.”

“Nothing’s easy for Joe,” said Maurecia. “He’s stupid.”