“Rhett?” I asked. “Are you two close? Was he the Viking?” Harper just stared at me. “Harper? You really aren’t going to tell me?”
“It’s not that easy. Yes, Rhett and I are close,” she admitted. “But I’m still figuring some stuff out.”
“Have I done something to make you feel like you can’t talk to me about this?”
“No, of course not,” she said with sincerity. “I just really need to figure this out on my own.”
I understood that. Despite how much I wanted to help, I had to trust Harper could take care of herself. Now, if only she thought the same about me.
“Rhett does seem like a good guy,” I offered.
She nodded.
But based on what she was saying, Rhett also knew a lot about Cal, and thanks to the other night, he knew a lot more about Cal and me specifically.
How had things gotten so messed up? Jack had wanted me once, enough to tell Cal to step back. Only, Jack left…he’d had a timeline from the beginning. It was yet another fork in the road that could have gone either way. But the way it went was with Jack. And I was left with pieces of who I was, pieces of who I was becoming, and Cal was the only kind of glue in sight.
I started running again, and Harper followed suit. I didn’t know what to think or how to feel, other than even more lost than before. Wondering how things could have been different. But they weren’t. And there was nothing Cal or I could do about it.
Problem was, I was feeling. Feeling more than I wanted to. Wanting more than I wanted to. Two things I’d tried to stay away from when it came to Cal, yet I was getting swept up, even though I knew better than to trust any part of myself to another person.
As we ran up toward our house, I noticed a black truck parked out front of the fire house and a few guys talking by the open doors.
Cal.
He was in street clothes and saw me, but didn’t make a move. Harper, however, jogged right up to Rhett and started talking low in his ear, leaving me standing on the sidewalk, catching my breath.
“Rhett and I are going in for a snack,” Harper called, going with Rhett into the firehouse. Great. Just great. Best friend drops a bomb on me, then ditches me with the guy I’ve been avoiding.
A guy that seemed hell bent on stopping that cycle with every step he took toward me.
“Hey,” I said, as casually as I could. Cal didn’t even blink. He didn’t stop walking either until he was toe to toe with me.
“I told you once that running is one thing, hiding is another.” His blue eyes, for the first time ever, ignited with fury.
“I needed to think.” It was the most rehearsed answer I had. “Besides, isn’t that the status-quo? Great sex, then the woman sneaks out the back?”
“Finally, you say something that I agree with,” he said, and my heart dropped. “The sex was great.”
Crossing my arms, I huffed, mostly to make sure my lungs were still working because he’d just scared me…only to compliment our time together. This man drove me nuts.
“And there is no status-quo,” he continued. “I thought you’d know that by now.” That blue glare only lit another degree. “But, if that was a concern of yours, then communicate that, don’t sneak off.”
I bit my lip, but kept eye contact. Looking away signaled weakness. Something I’d learned from Jack, but hated that it stuck in my mind. Now was not the time to digress. I was faced with Cal, had new information brought to light, time to ask. Otherwise, I would just stay lost in the worst way.
“What about your communication?” I asked. I lifted my chin, trying for any surge of strength I had. “You stepped aside so Jack and I could be together?”
He took a deep breath through his nose, but didn’t break eye contact. “Timing is everything,” he said, and that rocked something in my chest. Jack had said damn near the same thing to me before turning his back and leaving for good.
“And who decides on this time? You and Jack? Things could have been different.”
“Yeah, they could have been. But did you ever think that you needed Jack more than you needed me?”
I gasped and rage surged through my blood like a drug. I wasn’t some damn puzzle piece they could move around to see where I fit. “You think you know what I need?”
“I’ve got a good idea. You needed to find your strength, feel safe. Jack is the perfect dark corner for that.”
There was that phrase again, dark corner. Even I’d admitted that Jack had been like that. And I did hide in him. I’d also found my strength in him. He broke my heart, but he also forced me to grow as a woman, as a person.