“Devin.” Her voice was soft, and I could see I was reaching her. Of course, we’d been here before. I didn’t want to keep playing this game where we’d have a fight, come together, and then she’d put up barriers again.
“Tell me to leave, Serena. I don’t want to continue like this, but I can’t seem to quit you on my own. You need to tell me.”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
I closed my eyes feeling both relieved and yet tormented. “Then tell me what you do want.”
“You.” Her voice was so quiet, I wasn’t sure I heard right.
I stared into her eyes hoping to see if I could find meaning there. Our gazes held, and I felt that pull she had over me. Like my heart was tethered to hers and pulling me to her.
Her hand went to my cheek and I got the sense that she was feeling the same as I was. That there was something special between us and being terrified of it.
I gave in to the pull, leaning towards her.
“I could be fired,” she said softly.
“What? Why?”
“You’re a client.”
That stopped me. “Is that why you’ve run hot and cold?”
She gave a noncommittal shrug.
“Do you want to be with me?” I asked.
She nodded.
I wanted to assure her that I wouldn’t let her get fired or suffer financially if she was, but I also knew that wasn’t the right response. She was a strong independent woman. She wouldn’t want to be rescued by a man.
“What can I do?” I asked.
“You could kiss me.”
I didn’t need to be asked twice. And when she pushed the button locking her door, I knew she was mine. Maybe not forever. Maybe not even tomorrow. But right now, she was mine.
13
Serena
Here I was again. Like the movie Groundhog Day, I was reliving the same scenario over and over. When I was on the verge of finally ending things with Devin, I found the prospect of never seeing him again too difficult to fathom, and so I reache
d for him, giving in to my need for him. My brain was telling me I was playing a cruel and dangerous game, but my chest was thick with need and emotion that was more compelling than the warning bells ringing in my head.
His lips covered mine, and immediately I sank into him. Giving all of myself to him. Outside the door, my boss and colleagues were going about their day. At home, my mother was watching Andrew. But in this moment, all I could focus on was Devin and how much I wanted him.
Why did I need him so much? Why wasn’t I strong enough to say no when he was standing in front of me? Was it those magnificent green eyes staring at me with pain and confusion that made me feel like a beast for pushing him away? Was it the way that he always deferred to me? He’d have walked out, I have no doubt. He wasn’t pushing or pressuring me. Maybe if he did, I’d be able to resist.
His hands slid around my back and pulled me tight against him. His erection grew hard against my belly and a whole new need washed through me. It flowed through my bloodstream, awaking every nerve in my body.
“I want you,” he whispered harshly in my ear as he ground his dick against me.
I gripped his tie and pulled him away from the door.
“Here?” His brows rose in surprise.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never had sex in your office.”