My brain was in a whirl, unable to sort out what was going on.
“You weren’t, were you?” he asked. “Careless?”
I shook my head. “No sir.” I always used a condom. Except the last time with Serena but she’d told me she was on the pill and I believed her. I thought back to five years ago. I’d used a condom then too…except…Jesus, I think I didn’t once.
My lungs seized and my heart sped up like it was running the Indie 500.
Mr. Moore’s brows pulled together in concern. “Are you all right? You’re looking a little pale.”
The door opened and I heard people enter.
“Devin!” Andrew called and rushed to me, wrapping his arms around my legs.
“Hey.” I looked up at Serena, who was looking at me much in the same way as her father was.
“Devin and were just having a chat about fatherhood,” Mr. Moore said.
Immediately Serena’s eyes widened into panic. I looked down at the boy again, and knowing struck at the heart of me. Andrew was my son.
I looked at Serena. “Is it true?”
“Devin…I…”
“Of course, it’s true,” Mr. Moore said. He paused for a moment, looking from Serena then to me, before giving his attention to her again. “Ah hell, Serena, you told him, didn’t you?”
“Is what true?” Andrew asked.
“Oh dear.” Mrs. Moore’s gaze darted from me to her husband to Serena. They all settled on Andrew. “Sweetie, let’s go to the park. You too, Graham.”
“I’m right behind you,” he said.
“We just got back from the park. I want to see Devin.” Andrew held my legs tighter.
“Let’s get ice cream,” Mr. Moore held his hand out. “Come on Andrew. Your mom needs to talk to Devin, here.”
“Can I see you later?” Andrew looked up at me.
My son. Jesus. I could barely breathe. “Yes. Of course.”
He released my leg, and with Mr. and Mrs. Moore, he left the apartment.
My brain was still whirling as I looked at Serena. The guilt on her face said it all. The more I stared at her, the angrier I got.
“Why?” I couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence. My words were lost in the anger and shock and pain.
She stepped to me, reaching her hands out. I stepped back from her. Repulsed by the idea that she’d keep something like this from me.
She stopped and looked down. “I was going to tell you, but the time was never right?”
“Don’t lie to me!”
Her head shook. “I’m not. I was going to tell you the night we got back from Washington, but your mom called—”
“You could have told me but decided to fuck me instead. Same for all those times at the beach house too. Don’t tell me you couldn’t have told me sooner. Jesus, I can’t believe this.” I raked my fingers through my hair, feeling like I wanted to throttle something. Everything about her started to fall in place. I whirled on her. “You weren’t going to tell me at all, were you?”
“I was. I was going to—”
“No. That’s why you tried to avoid me in the beginning, isn’t it? You wanted me to stay away so I wouldn’t ever know my own son. God…Serena…how could you?”