She was crying now but I had no sympathy. “I was afraid.”
“Bullshit.”
“I was.”
“You didn’t even tell me you were pregnant. Why not? You think I’m that much of a dick that you didn’t tell me.”
“I don’t think you’re a dick. I think you’re wonderful. I love you—”
“Bullshit. If you loved me, you’d have never, ever, kept this from me. Who does that? Who finds out they’re pregnant and doesn’t tell the father?”
Her voice pitched up in desperation. “I wanted to, really I did. You changed your number. I couldn’t find you.”
“My parents live in New York. They knew where I was. How to reach me.”
It looked as if all the air left her as she sagged to a chair. “She wouldn’t let me.”
“What?”
She wiped her tears. “I went to your mother. She said you couldn’t ever know. She offered me money.” She launched out of the chair. “I didn’t take it, Devin. I didn’t take one cent from her.”
I thought my heart was broken, but now it was decimated. I didn’t want to believe my mother would do this, and yet, deep down, I knew she would.
It was my turn to feel like I had no life in me. I sagged against the wall. “Why didn’t you tell me when I got back.”
“I was afraid of losing him. Of how your mother might treat him. Then I was afraid of this. Your anger and hurt.”
“You’re damn right I’m angry and hurt. What were you going to do Serena? Let me believe he wasn’t mine?”
“I was going to tell you. Honest, Devin. I was. Today at lunch was going to be my next attempt.”
“So, it’s my fault? It’s my mother and my fault that I missed four years of my son’s life.”
She only stared at me.
I shook my head as I took in the woman that I thought I knew. The woman I was beginning to think I might spend my life with. “I used to think you were different. Beyond all the bullshit. But you’re not.”
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
Good question. “Does he know?”
She shook her head. “No. I was waiting for you. We could tell him together.”
I didn’t want to do anything with her, but I had enough common sense to know that she was Andrew’s center. She’d need to be involved.
“I’m going to get a lawyer and fight for my son.”
She pressed her hands over her heart. “I’m not going to keep him from you.”
“You already have, Serena.”
She rushed to me, and this time I couldn’t stop her from grabbing my arms. “Please don’t take him from me. I know I was wrong. So wrong. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.”
I scoffed. “There you go again, thinking I’m a monster. I can’t stand to be with you right now, but I know he needs you. I wouldn’t take that from him. But I’m not going to let you keep him from me any longer.”
“Yes. Of course.” She sniffed, releasing my arms. When she looked at me, I saw pleading in her eyes. “Please don’t let your mother hurt him. I know she’ll have unkind things to say about me, but please don’t let her do that to him.”
“I won’t.” The room started to feel small and my instinct was to run away. But I had a son. “I want him to visit me.”