” Again, he looked from me to Serena again.
“Baby, Devin is your daddy.”
I tried to smile which was hard because inside I felt like a fucking mess.
“My new daddy?”
“No honey. He’s your real daddy.”
He looked at me. “Where were you?”
I looked at Serena as resentment built. He blamed me for all this.
“Andrew, look at me, baby.” She squeezed his hands. “He didn’t know about you. I didn’t tell him. That’s why he wasn’t here. But now he knows and he’s here.”
He still looked confused and I hoped this wasn’t going to mess up our relationship.
“He wants to spend time with you. He wants to be your daddy.” She nodded and smiled like she was willing Andrew to be happy about this.
“Does he love me?”
Fuck he was talking like I wasn’t there.
“Yes, son. I love you so much.” That had been the strangest part of all this. I’d cared for him when he was just Serena’s son, but hearing he was mine; it was like my heart doubled in size.
He looked at me with apprehension. “Can I call you Daddy?”
Jesus…make that quadrupled in size. I covered my heart with my hand. “Yes. I’d love it if you did.”
23
Serena
I was broken. My heart. My soul. When I walked into my parents’ apartment that afternoon and saw Devin and realized he knew about being Andrew’s father, I felt my entire world crumble. I wanted to go back and do it all over again. But now it was too late.
I wanted to beg him to forgive me, but I could see in his eyes that I’d hurt him too badly. He was broken too. He was devastated and it was my fault. I’d been a selfish bitch, only worried about my feelings and protecting Andrew. I hadn’t seriously considered Devin’s feelings. The truth was, I didn’t deserve him. The entirety of our relationship I’d been selfish and hurtful.
But Andrew did deserve him, and so I’d need to do whatever I could to support their relationship.
“Devin would like you to go stay with him for a day tomorrow,” I said. I was trying so hard to be strong and positive for Andrew, but it was so hard. Inside, I was completely undone.
Andrew looked from Devin to me. “Do I have to sleep there?”
“A sleepover will be fun,” Devin said.
“Where will I sleep?”
“I’ll have a bed for you. Your own room. I can hang airplanes if you want.” Devin remembered Andrew wanting his planes hung. See, he was good dad material even before he knew he was a dad.
“What about my toys?” Andrew’s expression was apprehensive and I worried how Devin might interpret that.
“We’ll pack some of your favorites,” I said.
Andrew scooted off the couch and pressed against me. He looked up at me with his big blue eyes. “Will you be there too?”
I shook my head. “This is time with your dad.”
“What if I get scared?”