She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. I hoped it was because of the treatment, but I worried I’d lost some of the gains I’d made with her by coming home late last night.
At one point, I got hungry and left her to find some food. At that point I did check messages. There were a few from Kyle. Fortunately, they were mostly updates. I suspected he understood that I’d be antsy and wanted to reassure me by keeping me informed.
By the time we got home, Terra seemed to be doing okay, although the doctor said that side-effects could start hours and even a few days later.
“I want to take a bath,” she said as she made her way to our bedroom.
I checked my watch and noted that the kids wouldn’t be home for another couple of hours. “Let me draw it for you.”
“You’re not very good at doing nothing, are you?”
I frowned because her tone was annoyed. “Are you angry at me?”
“I just wonder if all this hovering is to keep you distracted from worrying about work?”
“My wife just had a treatment for cancer. That’s what I’m worried about. Jesus Terra, do you really think I’m that much of an asshole?”
Her head dropped down. “No.” She walked away toward the bathroom.
I wanted to confront her more, but since she’d just had cancer treatment, I’d be an asshole for doing that. I heard the water go on, and I decided to give her some time alone as I appeared to be irritating her.
I went to the kitchen and got a water bottle that I filled with water for her. The doctor said for her drink a lot of fluids. I grabbed a couple of crackers too, in case she was hungry. One side effect was nausea, and I thought crackers would be safe.
When I brought them in the bathroom, she was sitting in the tub with her head back and eyes closed. She’d put in bubble bath and the foam lay over her like a blanket.
“I brought you some water and a few crackers.” I set them on the rim of the tub. She took the water and sipped.
I sat on the edge of the tub. “What can I do, Terra?”
She opened her eyes. “I’m fine. I just want to relax.”
I rested my forearms on my thighs, clasping my hands together. “I meant to get out of your doghouse.”
She sighed. “I’m just…it’s me. This is all…”
I reached out wanting to touch her, but everything was under water or bubbles. “Let me help.”
I pushed up the sleeves of my shirt and got on my knees next to the tub. I took the cloth folded on the side and dipped it in the water. I gently caressed her shoulders.
She closed her eyes and let me care for her. I studied her face. She was resting but there was tension in her jaw. I put the towel aside and caressed her shoulders with my bare hands. Her muscles were hard and tense. Gently I kneaded them. I took my time, massaging and caressing her shoulders, then her arms, every now and then checking her face to see her reaction.
I pulled her fingers to my lips and kissed them. I hoped she could feel my love for her in my touch. In a way, I was making love to her, although not in a sexual sense.
“I’m so tired,” she said. “I don’t know if your hands have lulled me to sleep or it’s the treatment.”
“Do you want to get out and lay down?”
“Yes, but I feel so heavy.” She gave me a slow smile. “Your hands have made me boneless even without an orgasm.”
“Then I’ve done my job. Let me do more.” I reached in, and despite getting my clothes wet, I slid my hands under her and pulled her out of the tub.
“Brayden…” she gasped in surprise, but wrapped her arms around my neck. I turned and sat on the edge of the tub, putting her on my lap as I reached for a towel. I wrapped it around her, squeezing and rubbing it to dry her off. She laid her head on my shoulder, and it was ridiculous how pleased I felt that she was letting me take care of her. For that moment, I finally felt like I was the husband I should be.
I carried her to our room, setting her on the bed. “Do you want pyjamas or sweats?”
“Sweats.”
I pulled out sweatpants of hers and an old college sweatshirt of mine, helping her get them on.