Again, he hesitated. “She wanted me to make up with you as well. She didn’t like your current boyfriend.”
“What?” I jerked back.
He shrugged. “She said he wasn’t good enough. Douche. That’s what she called him. He didn’t appreciate how smart you were, thinking that because you were from a small country town you couldn’t be as intelligent as him.”
I laughed. “She was always perceptive. The thing is, many men think that.”
“I know you’re smart, Mia.”
I gave him a gentle kiss. “She used to tell me all about what you were up to … and with whom.” It was so strange how accepting my parents had been of my relationship with Nick when Eli had told them about it. Not that they’d have been as angry as Eli was, but they really seemed to like the idea of me and Nick together.
His cheeks reddened. “Small town gossip. I think she hoped I’d be able to convince you to move back home. I tried to tell her that you were living your dream life and that came first over me or anyone.”
A pang of guilt followed by annoyance hit me in the gut. Yes, I’d chosen my career over him, but so had he. Oh, he’d once mentioned maybe moving to southern California, but I needed a clean start.
“You talked about all this while she was in the hospital?”
“She’d brought it up a few times before, so on that day … it was truncated. She said, ‘Get Mia. Bring her home. Make her happy.’”
“But you didn’t.”
He shook his head. “I was going to talk to you at the funeral about maybe moving home so I could at least feel like I honored her request by saying something, but … well, we never spoke when you were here.”
I closed my eyes as more guilt filled me as I abided by Eli’s wishes to avoid Nick. “I’m sorry, Nick.”
“I get it. It was a hard situation that would have been made worse if Eli got pissed.”
“I hate how we all act in ways to avoid pissing him off. It’s not right.”
“It was right for that time. And now she has what she wants. You’re home with your dad and Eli.”
“What about you?”
Nick shrugged. “She just saw me as the person who could get you here. As long as you’re with your family, she’s happy.”
“I didn’t realize how much I owed you.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Mia. I care about your family. They’re like family to me, especially after my folks moved away. I just wish I’d been able to order up that miracle.”
“Me too,” I said, all of a sudden feeling tired. I lay my head back down on his chest and was out within minutes.
23
Nick
I didn’t know how to describe Mia’s and my relationship. I felt closer to her the night she’d called me to help her father and we’d ended up spending the night together. The sex was cathartic, but even more so was the talk we’d had.
But that didn’t change the fact that we couldn’t be together because it was against hospital policy. Even if it weren’t, I wasn’t sure we’d be an item. Did I want that? I think I did, but that scared the shit out of me. Four years ago, I hadn’t considered the ramifications of loving her. I’d been so sure that her family and even Eli would want us to be happy. Like a silly teenage girl, I’d thought true love would make everything rosy.
Now, four years later, I was more cynical about most things in life. Whether you loved someone or not, they could leave you, either by choosing something else or through death. No matter how hard you tried to do your best, you could fail, which in my case meant, someone could die. So, while I always made the most of the time I could spend with Mia, I wasn’t going to fall into the trap of believing in a fairy tale.
With that said, I was glad for the fleeting moments with her because everything else in my life had gone to shit. The lawsuit was big news in town. The hospital administration had little to say to the public about it. While they didn’t want to say anything that could hurt the case, their vague statements and tepid defense of me only served to make the people in town think the hospital was trying to cover up an error.
I continued to receive unhappy messages. Not all were threatening. Some simply expressed their displeasure and told me to quit. Those people were happy to tell me who they were, and since they weren’t threatening, I couldn’t do much about it. Changing my number wasn’t an option because I was a doctor that people needed to be able to reach.
The number of threatening voicemails I received grew. I finally called the sheriff even though I worried if the hospital found out they’d put me on leave. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much the sheriff could do.
“They’re ominous to be sure,” the deputy said after listening to a few. “But they fall short of a real threat.”