She let out a breath. “Jude.”
“But if you don’t feel anything for me—”
She pressed her hand to my chest. “I do feel for you.” She moved her hand up to my cheek. “You’re a wonderful man. A wonderful father.”
I closed my eyes, savoring the emotion of her thinking I was a good dad.
“I hate that I hurt you, Jude. I can’t bear the pain in your eyes knowing I’m a part of putting it there.”
I dropped my forehead against hers. She tilted her head, her lips pressing to mine. I clung to it like a lifeline, slanting my head to kiss her back.
When she broke away, she looked up at me. “Did you get a bed?”
My dick came to life, although I tried to tell him to shut up. Now wasn’t the time or place. Was it?
“I did. King size.”
“Have you slept in it yet?”
I shook my head.
“Maya is out for the night. Maybe you’d be willing to let me crash here with you.”
Okay, so maybe my dick wasn’t misbehaving. “I do need to break in the bed.”
“Well then.” She took my hand and led me from the kitchen to the bedroom. She shut and locked the door. “I know I can’t make up for what happened, Jude, but I’d like to try to make you feel better. To drive out the pain. To give you a moment of just pleasure.”
My blood heated, sizzling through my veins. “I won’t stop you from trying.”
She slid my shirt over my head, running her hands over my chest, leaning in and kissing me.
Her hands undid my pants, pushing them down and freeing my dick. Her hand gripped it, making me hiss. She lowered down to her knees. It was the most erotic sight ever and yet, not necessary.
“You don’t need to do that,” I said. I didn’t want a pity orgasm.
“I want to, Jude.” She licked my tip, and I growled in response. My hands threaded through her hair as she sucked my dick deep in one swallow nearly bringing me to my knees. I’d taught her how to give a blow job years ago, but I didn’t remember her being so confident and forward in it. For a moment, I wondered if she’d honed her skills on other men. But then her fingers brushed the area between my balls, and my brain short circuited. There was nothing but pleasure as her mouth and fingers sucked and touched and made me delirious.
It felt so fucking good and yet, not quite perfect.
“Wait,” I gasped before she could make me come. I reached down, taking her arms and hauling her up. “I need to be inside you.”
“You can.” She reached for me again.
“Now. I need to be inside you now.” It wasn’t just sexual need driving me. It was like I needed to be a part of her to feel whole again.
With my help, she was undressed in seconds flat. I lay her on the bed, my body over hers. She was in my home, in my bed. Our daughter slept peacefully in the other room. This was what I’d always wanted. I’d left her for the dream of being here one day. Now that it was here, there was still so much in the way, and yet, I had hope like I hadn’t had since I got her breakup letter, that maybe we would finally make it and be a family.
I maneuvered my hips between her thighs, perching my tip at her hot wet entrance. I took her hands, pushing them over her head as I gripped them.
“Look at me, April. Look at me when I enter you.”
Her hazel eyes, flashing green with heat, gazed into mine. Her fingers squeezed my hands. She was with me.
I drove my hips down, sliding inside her. Sliding home.
20
April