But April was my best friend. I trusted her and I needed to tell someone.
But I wasn’t feeling very brave, so I looked down into my wine glass. “I had sex with him.”
When I didn’t hear a response, I looked up. April’s eyes were wide and I couldn’t tell if it was just surprise or horror.
“With Cyrus?”
I nodded, shifting in my seat as I second guessed having confessed. “The night of the party.”
She let out a breath and smiled. “Wow. How was it?”
It took me a minute to realize she wasn’t angry or warning me away. “Good. Great. Like oh my God fantastic.”
She laughed. “It’s always the silent, broody types that have all the bedroom skills. I think it must be the intensity.” Her brows furrowed. “Why do I get the feeling this is a secret?”
I wanted to be nonchalant. I didn’t want her to think this was a big deal. “It’s not a secret per se. It happened, but it doesn’t mean anything.”
Her brow arched like she wasn’t buying it. “You’re not a one-night-stand sort of woman, Petal.”
I waved her comment away. “I’d been drinking. I don’t know, but Cyrus and I are friends. Afterwards we both realized that it shouldn’t have happened. We don’t want to mess up a good thing.”
She maintained her gaze on me with that arched brow.
“Besides, you did say if Conner hurt me you’d send Cyrus to kill him. But if Cyrus hurt me, you’d have to send Jude and he’d go to jail.”
She didn’t laugh. “I’d send Conner.” She sipped her wine, but I could see the wheels in her head turning as she processed what I was saying. April and I had been friends since childhood, so she knew me better than anyone, and probably could tell that I wasn’t being completely truthful.
“I can totally see you and Cyrus together. At the party, you two crackled with chemistry.”
“It’s not like that really.”
“You slept with him. That’s exactly like that.”
I shook my head. “Cyrus and I are friends. We have been since we met last year. And we had one night of drinking and sexy costumes, but that’s all it was. We’re just friends.”
She frowned. “Who are you trying to convince? Me or you.”
Damnit. Why couldn’t she just accept what I was saying? “If it was more, he’d have told me he was going out of town,” I argued.
“He didn’t tell you?”
“I haven’t seen or heard from him since Halloween.”
Her eyes narrowed and I worried I’d just made her mad at him.
“But I knew he was worried about her, so of course he went to see her. And why would he tell me? We’re friends but that’s it. And that’s why you don’t need to make a thing about this. In fact, if you could not tell Jude, that would be great. I don’t want things to be weird for Cy at work. I know you don’t want to keep things from Jude, but there’s really nothing here.”
April sighed. “I want you to be happy, Petal. As happy as I am.”
“I know. And someday I will be. Someday a man will walk into my bakery and sweep me off my feet.” I smiled, hoping she’d let this thing with Cyrus go.
She reached out her wine glass to click with mine. “Cheers to that.”
That night, I lay in bed feeling silly for having gone over to April and Jude’s to find out what was up with Cyrus. It felt like something a school girl would do. I also felt guilty for being annoyed at Cyrus when he’d gone off to see his mom. I’d even told him to do it, and then I got mad at him for it.
I hoped his mom was well and he was enjoying his visit. I also hoped that when he got back he’d come and see me. It would be hard to hide my yearning for him, but I did value his friendship and knew he needed friends here in Bismarck. April had said Jude was afraid he wasn’t feeling like this was home. So I could push my selfish desires for him aside, and be the friend he needed. With that resolved, I fell asleep.
11