Cyrus
I flew back from Chicago late last night, still not knowing what, if anything, was wrong with my mother. I made her promise to keep me posted. I knew she didn’t want to worry me, but the not knowing was more difficult to handle. It was always better to have a deep knowledge of the enemy than not know anything about it at all.
I arrived at the office the next day before everyone else and spent the morning going over the progress on current cases, as well as new intakes. Once everyone else arrived, we had a staff meeting where Jude caught me up on everything I needed to know that wasn’t in the paperwork I’d reviewed.
When the meeting was done, I headed back to my office to do some background checks for our clients.
“Is everything okay with your mom?” Jude asked, coming into my office.
“We’re waiting on tests.” I kept my head down, and I realized I was nervous that perhaps he knew about me and Petal. Had Petal told April? Had April told Jude? Was Jude going to warn me away from her or kick my ass? I forced myself to look at him, knowing he’d be suspicious if I didn’t. “You seemed to not run this business into the ground while I was gone.”
He flashed a grin. “You were only gone four days. One more day, I might have messed it up.”
I laughed.
“How are you otherwise, Cy?” Jude sat in the chair by my desk.
“Good. Why?” A trickle of sweat ran down my back.
He shrugged. “I worry that Bismarck isn’t becoming home to you. I know you’re not from here and now that I’m busy with April and the kids—”
“I’m not regretting coming here, Jude,” I interrupted him. “I like it here. The business is going even better than we’d planned, my house is coming along. It’s all good.” That wasn’t a lie, although I was feeling guilty about being away from my mother.
“What about women?”
I arched a brow. “You’re not really asking me if I’m getting laid, are you?” I hoped my voice sounded normal and now worried he knew what I’d done with Petal.
His cheeks reddened. “Well, not that specifically, but are you seeing anyone? Are you getting out?”
“Don’t worry about my love life or sex life, Jude. I’m good. All is well.”
He rose from the chair. “Okay. I just want you to be happy here.”
“I am.”
He stopped at the door. “Are you going to see Petal today?”
My stomach dropped. “What?”
His head tilted as his eyes narrowed and I realized my “what” came out a little too guilty sounding.
“Don’t you normally grab a cupcake and coffee?” he asked.
Oh yeah. That. I shrugged. “I’m not sure if I’ll get to it today. I have lots of catching up to do. You were all a bunch of slackers while I was gone.”
“Well if you change your mind, grab me a limoncello one, will you? I’ll be out in the field until this afternoon.”
I nodded and waved him away as I got back to work. The truth was, I’d decided to stop my trips to Petal’s every work day. I accepted that it made me both a coward and an asshole. A coward because I was afraid of my own dick, and an asshole because it was mean to Petal. I’d see her at Jude and April’s dinners and parties, but I just couldn’t trust myself to see her on my
own and not touch her. I’d hoped being away with my mother would put distance between me and Petal and lessen my yearning. The truth was, absence made my desire grow, not dissipate.
So, I focused on business, doing more background checks and hacking investigations. And when I automatically stopped at the time that I’d normally go see Petal, I cursed my inner clock and forced myself to work some more.
The plan was good, except that I couldn’t stop thinking about Petal. Was she waiting for me to show up or had she given up on me when I missed coming this week? Did she even know I was out of town? Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe some guy had reached out to her through the dating site. Maybe they were dating. Maybe he’d touched her.
Fuck! I growled and threw my pen, pissed off that someone else could be in her bed. I wanted to strangle him. I didn’t care who he was or even if he was a better match. I wanted to throttle any man who touched her.
“Hey Cy, do you have those scans for McMartin?” Conner said from my doorway.