He stepped back. “Are you hungry?” His serious eyes told me that wasn’t a euphemism. “Can I take you to dinner?”
“I need to clean up here first.” I was going to suggest he get takeout and bring it to my place, but I could feel that he was creating distance between us again. And he was probably right to do so. We were friends, after all. And he’d made it clear that he didn’t want to mess that up. Plus, I didn’t want to create a situation that would put strain between him and April and Jude.
He helped me clean up the kitchen and then we walked down to a local diner. We were seated and made small talk as we reviewed the menu and then the waitress took our order.
When she left, we both sat back and simply stared at the other.
Finally, he said, “I know you don’t like when I say I’m sorry, but I am. I keep putting you in an awkward situation.”
“I could stop you,” I said. Certainly he was bigger than me, but he wasn’t a man to force himself on a woman either. If I said, no, he’d respect that. At the same time, I understood what he was saying. “But I know what you’re saying. I don’t want to hurt our friendship either Cyrus. And I don’t want to create any strain between you and Jude. Or have Jude end up in jail.”
Cyrus’ brow arched. “Jail?”
I shrugged. “April told me that if you or Conner hurt me that she’d have to have Jude kill you. Actually, she’d send you to kill Conner if he hurt me.”
“Is that a possibility? You and Conner?”
Of all the things he could have taken from that statement, he focused on Conner.
I shook my head. “No.”
He looked down. “But I could?”
I didn’t know what to say. The truth was, yes, he could hurt me because I liked him and was
beginning to recognize that I would have liked it to grow into something. At the same time, I didn’t want him to know that. Not when he was so adamant that we remain friends.
“What I’m saying, Cyrus, is that I agree that we should be friends. Friends only.”
It looked like there was some relief in his eyes, but also maybe some disappointment. I certainly felt the same way.
Deciding to change the subject, I asked, “How was your trip to see your mom? Was everything okay?”
He picked up his spoon and started playing with it like he was nervous. “I don’t know. She looked tired and worn down. I made her go to the doctor and she ended up having all sorts of tests. That’s why I was gone for so long.”
“What were the results?” I could see the worry in his eyes and I wanted so badly to soothe him.
“We don’t know yet.”
“But you’re worried?”
His dark eyes were intense as they looked at me. “Yes, some. She’s all I’ve got.”
My heart split at the pain and fear he had to be feeling. I wanted to assure him that she wasn’t all he had, because I was here, and I knew Jude and April were there for him too. But that wasn’t the point. This was his mother. Clearly, he adored her. It made me admire him all the more.
“When will you know?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Probably next week. I’m thinking of seeing if I can arrange for her to move here.”
It was strange how happy that made me feel. Instead of thinking about moving back to Chicago to be with her, he wanted to bring her here. It suggested he did feel like he had a place here. Not necessarily with me, but he was committed to his business with Jude and April.
“The cost of living is better,” I said.
He nodded. “But I’m not sure she’d want to quit her job. She could probably find one here, but maybe she won’t want to start over. I don’t know. I guess I’ll just wait to see what the tests say.”
I reached over and put my hand on his. “I hope it all goes well. I can see she means the world to you.”
He gave me a slight grin that gave him a boyish appearance. It was odd to see because normally he was so fierce looking.