Cyrus
I was stunned at what Lora was saying.
“My point is, maybe someday, we can move past all that. I do still love you.”
I looked down. “Lora.” God, how did I tell her I didn’t love her especially after all she’d done for me.
“You don’t have to say anything now.” She reached out and put her hand over mine.
I pulled it away, not wanting her to get her hopes up that my feelings would change. Not as long as Petal was still taking up so much space in my heart.
Her expression fell.
“I’m sorry,” I said feebly.
“You’re not ready. I get it. You’ve just returned home and your mom needs you, so I understand. I just want you to know that I’m here for you too. Even as just a friend.”
I have a friend, I thought. A friend I was desperately missing.
The truth was, over time, perhaps my feelings for Petal would wane, and I could fall for Lora again. We could probably be content. We were before. But after spending time with Petal, I knew that content wasn’t what I wanted. With Petal, there was laughter and brightness. She challenged me and made me feel whole, as much as fucking cliché that that was.
“I appreciate that, Lora. Right now, I do need to focus on my mom. Speaking of which, I should get home. She seemed particularly tired tonight.” It was probably all the excitement of thinking I was getting back together with Lora.
“Yes, of course.”
I paid for dinner and escorted Lora out of the restaurant. On the way home, she chatted about various people we’d known before and what they were doing, but all I could think about was wanting to call Petal. I needed to hear her voice. Her laughter. I need to imagine how her green eyes would light up when she smiled while we spoke on the phone.
I wondered if she missed me like I was missing her. Probably not. Her dating card was likely filled with men wanting to take her out. I gripped the steering wheel as jealousy roared through me.
“Did I say something wrong?” Lora said next to me.
“What?”
“You just growled and you’re white knuckling the steering wheel.”
“Oh.” I flexed my hands. “Sorry. I was just thinking…about my mom.”
Lora put her hand on my thigh. “She’s going to get through this Cy. So far treatment is going according to norms.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s working.”
“No. But your mom is strong. So are you.”
I pulled into the driveway.
“Do you mind if I come in and check on her before heading home?” Lora asked.
I nodded. “I’d appreciate it if you did.”
As we walked up to the door, I stopped Lora. “Listen, I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want, now. I feel like a jerk considering all you’ve done for us.”
She smiled up at me and I thanked God she wasn’t a woman to connive or retaliate because I needed her to help with my mom.
“I put you in a difficult situation, and I’m the one who should be sorry. I can see you’re still hurting over the other woman.” She bit her lower lip. “I won’t deny that I’m jealous of her. But I know I’m at fault. If I’m lucky, I’ll have a chance to make it up to you. But regardless, I’m here for you and your mom.”
“Thank you.”
I opened the door. “Mom, we’re back.”