“I’m not an invalid, Cy. I’m feeling stronger and I’m sick of being immobile.”
“Okay.” I held my hands up in surrender, but I stayed close just in case.
“Did Petal get home alright?” she asked as she poked the button on the coffee maker to start the brewing
.
“Yes.”
“Are you sure? Have you heard from her?” My mother went to the fridge and pulled out the eggs.
“Yes. I texted with her last night.”
She gave me a disapproving glare over her shoulder.
“What?”
“Cy, she’s having your baby. She flew out here to see us, and you just text?” She shook her head. “I raised you better.”
What the hell? “Why don’t you let me make the eggs,” I said. “You can sit down and tell me what’s going on with you.”
She handed me the eggs and sat at the table. “I hate that she’s all alone, Cy. It’s not a good feeling.”
“She’s not alone. We’re not there, but she has our support. And Jude and April are there.” I cracked eggs into a bowl and whisked them.
“It’s not the same. You should be there.”
I sighed and turned to her. “Right now, I need to be here with you.” I held my hand before she could argue. “Until you’re a hundred percent, you need me more.”
She looked down. “Be honest with me Cy. Do you love her?”
“Mom.” I turned and poured the eggs into the hot pan.
“Cy. This is important. If you can’t be honest with yourself about this, you deserve to feel as miserable as you look.”
Fuck, I looked miserable? I didn’t feel miserable. I felt torn. Ripped apart by duel responsibilities. I was gutted that I was failing Petal.
“Cy!” My mother’s sharp tone made me wince and brought back many times in my childhood when she reprimanded me.
I turned to look at her, feeling like I was eight years old again. “Yes, mom, I love her.” I turned back to the eggs, folding them until they were cooked through. Then I put them on plates, grabbed a couple of forks, and served them.
I sat across from my mother.
“Then why are you here?” she asked.
I rolled my eyes. “You know why. And so does Petal.”
“Does she know you love her?” My mother had a lot more spunk in her today, I noted as her sharp eyes honed in on me.
“No.” I scooped up my eggs, shoving them in my mouth even though I wasn’t hungry.
“Why not? You had no trouble telling Lora you loved her when you were with her.”
That wasn’t totally true. It had taken me some time to get the guts to tell her. “It’s different. Petal is my friend. Our lives are complicated—”
“You’re a coward.”
I flinched at the pain my mother’s words caused me. I looked up at her.