She leaned forward. “You’re a Navy SEAL, Cy. You’ve faced men who wanted to kill you, and you can’t tell that sweet woman who’s carrying your child, who, incidentally loves you, that you love her?” My mother shook her head. “I raised you better.”
“How do you know she loves me? Did she tell you?”
My mother rolled her eyes. “It’s as plain as the nose on her face. She flew here—”
“That was for you—”
“That was because she knew it was important to you that I be happy. She brought you cupcakes—”
“That’s her business—”
“Cy! She looks at you with longing and love.” My mom picked up her fork and poked her eggs and took a bite. “So, what are you going to do about it?”
I put my fork down and scraped my hands over my face. “I feel like I’m being torn in two. I have responsibilities to you both, and I can’t meet them. When I’m here, I’m failing Petal and the baby. If I’m there, I’m failing you…” God I sounded like a fucking pussy.
“Cy.” My mom’s eyes went soft. She stood and came over to me, wrapping me in her arms. “You know I’ve been on a leave from work.”
“Yes. For your treatment.” I didn’t know why the topic changed, but I was glad because I didn’t want to have a breakdown in front of my mother. I was supposed to be strong for her.
“Before I left, we talked about my being able to work from home some until I was fully ready to come back,” she said.
That’s easier said than done, I thought. I was having a hell of a time working from home and caring for my mom.
“You have a great boss, mom.”
“I do. I’m going to call them and see if I can work from Bismarck.”
My head tilted back so fast it was a wonder that it didn’t fly off my head. “What?”
“You talked about me moving there already.”
“You said you didn’t want to leave your home.”
She smiled sweetly. “That was before I knew I had a grandbaby in Bismarck.”
“Mom…I can’t ask you to move now. You’re still in treatment.”
She held my face in her hands. “I finished the first rounds, and if all goes well, I’ll have a few months of a bit more to make sure it’s all gone, then I’ll be in maintenance mode. With my job, I should be able to keep my insurance and I’m sure they have fine cancer treatment in Bismarck.”
She bent over and kissed my forehead. “So, I’ve put one side of you back together. It’s up to you, to fix the other side. Then you won’t be torn. Think of it, Cy. You could have it all.”
36
Petal
I never understood why movies and TV shows dressed redheaded women in red. It really wasn’t a great color on us. That’s why at Christmas, I always wore green. Green wasn’t just a better alternative to red, but also it looked fantastic on redheads. Not that I was going for fantastic. For April and Jude’s party, there was no sexy elf costume. I learned my lesson at Halloween. Instead, I wore a velvet green dress with long sleeves and a modest scoop at the neckline. I wore my hair down, taming some of the crazy waves with a little product. I put on blush, mascara and tinted lip gloss. I wanted to look put together but not like I was trying too hard.
With a box full of cupcakes, I drove over to April and Jude’s house, determined to have a lovely time. I was sure Maya had some sort of new invention or science project she could show me. I’d hold Bertie to get some practice. August had a new girlfriend that apparently was serious enough that she’d be there. I was curious about the woman who’d been able to reach a very private and reserved August.
“There’s the cupcake lady,” Jude said when he opened the door. “Let me help. I know it’s Christmas, but tell me there’s limoncello in there.”
I laughed. “There’s limoncello.”
“You’re my favorite cupcake lady.” I followed him to the kitchen where April was moving around like a whirling dervish getting food ready.
“Can I help?” I asked.
She stopped and came to give me a hug. “Yes. And, tell me you’re staying the night, right?”