She stopped short at my tone. “I’m not lying.”
I simply stared at her.
“It was Rick. My ex. He was saying the same old thing. I told him now wasn’t the time.”
“Later over dinner is the time, though. On a date.” Jealousy at Rick and anger at her boiled in my gut.
“Tucker.”
“He wants you back.”
She sighed. “Yes.”
“And what do you want? Is the feeling mutual?”
Her eyes narrowed, and I thought she had some fucking gall to be annoyed at me. “I’m not interested in getting back together with Rick. He left me at the altar. He made his choice and now he’ll have to live with it.”
I took in a breath as a little bit of the anvil on my chest lightened. “Are you sure? Because he left here thinking he had a chance with you. And you agreed to marry him once. You must have loved him. Maybe that’s not gone.” Jesus, what was I doing? It was like I was making her second guess herself.
But I was in this too deep to have her go waltzing off with her ex when he crooked his finger. If she still wanted him, I needed to get out now. I’d figure out a way to play hubby for Meredith’s sake, but I wasn’t going to be a fucking idiot and pursue a woman who had eyes for another man.
“Are you sure you don’t want to give him another chance?” My breath stalled in my chest as I waited for her answer.
“I don’t feel comfortable talking about my ex with you.” She started to walk past me, but anger seethed and I blocked her way.
“An hour ago, I was sucking your pussy and fucking you in every way possible, and you’re not comfortable with me?”
“Tucker.”
“No. Dammit.” I sucked in a breath as I prepared to lay it all on the line. “I haven’t kept it a secret that I was attracted to you when I met you. That hasn’t changed. In fact, it’s gotten stronger. This marriage might be fake, but what I feel,” I slapped my hand over my chest. “That’s real, baby. Hearing you with your ex, it kills me, because I want you, Holly. I want you to choose me.” I shook my head feeling a little too vulnerable. “I’ve been patient. I’ve been supportive. You’ve pushed me away. You’ve walked away emotionally. And guess what? I’m still here. And where was he? On your wedding day for Christ sake. No where. Yet he gets your attention? Fuck that.”
Now I was beginning to feel like a pathetic whiner.
I blew out a breath. “Just tell me where I stand. Be open. That’s all I want. Tell me what the fuck you’re feeling especially about us.”
She stepped back and looked down, biting her lip. My heart dropped to the floor.
“I know this situation has been unique and hard…and I get that sex can be confused with feelings.”
I closed my eyes as I realized I’d been a fucking fool.
“This is an arrangement. And I’ve enjoyed all our time together, Tucker, really.”
“So, I’m just a boy toy. This is all just sex and duping an old woman out of her money?”
She flinched. “You’re a wonderful man, and I’ve really come into my own being with you.”
“I’m not a therapist.”
“All I’m saying is that this isn’t real. We’re here becau
se of the library and to make Meredith Reynolds support it. Once that’s done, we’ll go back to being coworkers. And hopefully friends.”
Jesus, it was like she had a knife in my chest. Each word, it turned painfully. I hoped I’d bleed out soon and the pain would end.
“So, all this time, this has just been an act for you?” I felt completely gutted.
“I wouldn’t say an act, but it’s not a marriage. It’s two friends who are in a situation and making the best of it. But it’s not lasting.”