“You’re wrong.” I was desperate to make her understand that this was more, and yet I knew I couldn’t make her change how she felt. And what she felt was nothing for me.
“I tried to tell you, Tucker. I’m not ready for a relationship. And if I was…we both know that eventually, it wouldn’t work. Why put ourselves through that?”
“What are you, psychic? How do you know how it will be?”
“Because I was twenty-four once. You have so much more living to do once you’re done with me.”
I could only stare at her as I tried to figure out what the hell she was talking about. “So, you’re done with me because you’re afraid of when I’m done with you?”
She sighed as she nodded.
“Except you can’t be done with me, because you’ve never really engaged with me.”
“I’m sorry that this is all so convoluted, but I was clear from the beginning. I’m not ready for a relationship. Not ever with Rick. Not with you.” She pushed past me and this time I let her go.
I stood like an idiot for a while as I contemplated what to do next. I wanted to leave. I wanted to say the hell with her and walk out. But I’d made a deal with her to help her get the money from Meredith. As much as I felt like she didn’t deserve my help anymore, I knew she’d been right. She’d told me she wasn’t ready. She showed all the signs that she wasn’t ready when she’d withdrawn from me.
So I was the one who’d been slow on the uptake. I still wanted to leave. A part of me wanted Meredith to find out about her. But that would be immature of me, which must be what that comment about being twenty-four meant. She thought I was too young. Too immature. At least I was honest, I thought.
I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat.
“You can make your own fucking dinner,” I said under my breath, knowing that it was immature, but not caring. Since I was a man of my word, and it was largely my fault that I let my feelings get involved, I’d stick out the arrangement.
I took my sandwich and went to the guest room. The inflatable bed had deflated, not unlike my ego and my heart. I blew it up again, and then pulled out my school bag. I’d distract myself with curriculum planning.
My phone rang. I was going to ignore it, but then I saw it was Meredith. Why was she calling me?
“Tucker, I hope I’m not interrupting. I know it’s Halloween and you probably have plans.”
“No plans,” I said. “What’s up?”
“Well, my birthday is coming up and I’d really like it if you could come.”
Was she leaving Holly out of this?
“You and Holly are such a nice young couple, and I want to introduce you to people you should know in the county and even the state. Lots of influential people will be there.”
“I’ll need to talk to Holly but I don’t think it will be a problem.”
“It could be a good thing for the library too. I’ve been telling my friends all about the work we’re doing. Our little town may end up with the best library in the state.”
“Holly would love that,” I said, trying to put enthusiasm into my voice.
She gave me the date and time. Then, maybe because I was immature, I didn’t go tell Holly about the party. Instead I texted her.
Two minutes later, she knocked and then burst through my door. “Why is Meredith calling you? This is my project?”
I shrugged and picked up a science book to research cool science experiments. “Ask her yourself.”
“I’m asking you.”
I glared. “I don’t know, Holly. I didn’t ask her. Maybe it’s because it’s the traditional thing to do to call the man. Maybe it’s because she likes me better.” Okay, so that was immature.
She huffed out a breath and looked away for a moment. “I’m sorry. I—”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses. I’ll continue with this farce because despite what you think, I’m mature, and a man of my word. And because I want to help the kids.”
“Tucker.” Her expression was pained. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”