“Clearly he was using you to get access to Mrs. Reynolds. You deserve so much better than that.”
“Did you always do that?” I asked, taking another long swig of my wine.
“Do what?”
“Say something that on the surface should be a compliment, but underneath is a put down?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You just inferred that Tucker was using me. That he couldn’t possibly be interested in me. Or sexually attracted to me.”
“Holly—”
“No. You listen. He told me he cared for me. And in bed…holy shit, Rick, I had no idea sex could be like. You could learn a thing or two or hundred from him.” The wine was getting to me, which was the only reason I was able to talk like this.
“I can see his lowbrow ways have rubbed off,” he said with a distasteful tone.
At first, I was irked, but then I laughed. “You’re jealous.”
“Well of course I am. You’re my fiancé—”
“No. No I’m not. In fact,” I jumped up and rushed to my room. I got the engagement ring he’d given me out of the bottom of my jewelry box. I re-entered the living room. “I was going to hock this, but since you’re here.” I tossed the ring to him. “Now it’s official. We’re done.”
“Holly, don’t. Please.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know why you’re here, but you don’t love me. Maybe you did or maybe we just were comfortable. But I know we never had passion—”
“Sex isn’t love.”
“Passion isn’t just about sex. I think you should go now.” I looked at my wine bottle and saw it was nearly empty. The good thing about Rick showing up was that he’d opened another one that I’d drink when he left.
He stood and held the ring out. “I’m going to hold on to this. I plan to give it to you again once I prove myself.”
I wanted to tell him not to bother, but I didn’t want to say anything that might stop his progress toward leaving my home.
“I’ll call on you tomorrow. I meant what I said about going to Omaha. We could build a good life there.”
“Bye, Rick.”
He sighed and left my house. I didn’t like being alone, but it was better than being with him.
29
Tucker
I arrived at my apartment complex, but sat in my car. A part of me felt like I should have stayed at Holly’s. I should have been with her to comfort her tonight. But another part of me knew she saw me as the problem and that it would only upset her to have me there. And still a third part was pissed at her for how easily she could brush me aside and kick me out. I should have insisted on getting my stuff.
I pulled out of the parking lot. I drove back to her place, my three parts fighting over what I should do and how I should feel. I was a mess.
As I pulled up in front of her house, I saw a car in the driveway. I looked to the door and saw Rick. The fucker. All my parts morphed into one wish to pummel that man. But then he stepped inside her home and the door shut. And with it, my heart broke into a zillion pieces. She kicked me out but let him in. I’d tried to help her, and he exposed her, and still she chose to let him in.
I banged my hand on the steering wheel feeling like such a fucking fool. I wanted to hate her, and yet, the signs had all been there. All the times she pushed me away. She’d told me, more than once, that she didn’t want a relationship. And still I pushed. I remembered her saying that sex wasn’t love. So, she was sexually attracted to me, that’s all it was. Just sex.
Well, I hoped she was happy. I gave her a few stellar orgasms, fed her few good meals, and I fixed up her home. Now Rick was back and she could go back to her boring, safe life.
I pulled away from the curb and returned to my apartment. It was cold because the temperature had changed in the week’s I’d been gone. Fall had turned to winter. I went to the thermostat and turned it up but the warm air didn’t take away from the cold, stark emptiness I felt.
My phone rang. Looking at it, I saw that I’d had several missed calls and notifications.