“Come on…come on me, baby.” I was hammering away at her, teetering on the edge of oblivion. Each stroke I found it harder and harder to hold back. “Fuck, I’m coming…” I plunged in, releasing my first blast of cum.
“Yes!” she cried out, her pussy clamping down on me until I saw stars. I pumped again and again, until my legs could barely hold me up.
When I was finally able to see straight, I cradled her face in my hands and kissed her, thoroughly, wanting her to understand what she meant to me.
I lifted my head, searching her eyes for some confirmation that maybe I meant something to her too. Before I could see it, the timer went off on her oven, effectively breaking the moment.
Reluctantly I released her. I pulled myself together and realized I really was a coward. I was too afraid to give her the words that my heart wanted to tell her.
As I zipped up my pants, I made a vow not to leave tonight without her knowing how I felt, even if it meant hearing that she still didn’t think I was a good idea.
26
Trina
What had I been thinking to let Ryder touch me again? I hadn’t been thinking, that’s what. Or maybe I had been thinking because from the first minute I saw him when I opened the door, I wanted him to touch me. But it was wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, but it definitely wasn’t a good idea. It was one thing to indulge when we were playing house during the bet, but now we were in reality. Our real lives. I couldn’t afford to pretend that he and I could have something real. Yes, we were having a baby, but if not for that, would Ryder be here? No. He wasn’t in love with me. He was here to check on me because of the baby.
But as I glanced at him as he put his clothes back together after a glorious bout of sex on my kitchen table, I wished he did love me, because I was pretty sure I loved him. I couldn’t be sure because I’d never been in love before. Sure, I’d liked a few of the men I’d dated. But this swelling longing in my heart hadn’t been there. Was that love? Was my feeling desperately wanting to beg him to stay, love?
But even if he did love me, I was a practical person. I knew who I was and how difficult I could be. He was my polar opposite. How long would it be before the novelty of each other’s differences wore off and we ended up hating each other? No, it seemed wiser to find a way to be friends so we could raise this child to be happy and healthy.
I turned off the timer and used my hot pads to pull the casserole from the oven.
“There’s plates up there,” I said with a nod toward my cupboard.
Ryder opened it and pulled some dishes out.
“Look, they match,” he said with an amused grin as he set them on the table. I knew he was joking, but it had just been one more reminder of how he and I weren’t compatible. Not because he and I had different ideas about dishes, but because I was the type of person to gripe about it. I’d been irritated the first day I showed up at his house for the bet, and had taken it out on him. I think I’d known from that first night that I wouldn’t be able to resist him and I was looking for reasons to keep myself from giving in. It was stupid, but there it was.
We sat down to eat.
“Are you all right?” he asked as he scooped up some of the casserole. “You’re unusually quiet. I didn’t hurt you, did I? Or the baby?”
The baby. I was glad he was so attentive about the baby. That’s why he was here.
“No, it’s fine. I’m just surprised you’re here.”
He frowned. “Why? We’re having a baby. We need to do this together.”
I smiled, even though inside I was breaking. For all my self-talk about how we couldn’t be together, I found myself heartbroken that he wasn’t here for me.
“Yes. It’s just been a while.”
He nodded. “I had a few things to take care of.”
“Stark?” I asked, hoping he heard amusement in my question.
He gave me a sheepish smile. “Among other things.”
We had a pleasant dinner that reminded me of all the other dinners we’d had together. How come we could be so comfortable and normal like this and yet, not be suitable? Because deep down, I needed to feel safe, secure, and loved, and I didn’t think Ryder, with his easy-going attitude towards life, and bachelor ways could give me that.
After dinner, he told me to sit while he did the dishes. When he finished, he leaned against the sink and looked at me sitting at the table.
“My house is empty and quiet with you gone,” he said.
My heart did a flip in my chest, but I told it to settle down. That wasn’t a confession of love. “Not too quiet with those creaking floors,” I joked.
He laughed. “Yeah, well it’s not the same.” He rolled his shoulders like he was releasing tension. “I liked having you there.”