She shook her head, and at that point I knew it was disappointment I was seeing in her. I hated the idea that I had let her down.
"Lying to business partners is never a good idea, Ryan. What were you thinking?" She shook her hand to let me know that was more a rhetorical question than something she actually wanted me to answer. "Of all you boys, you're the last person I would've thought to do something like this."
I dropped my head unable to look her in the eyes. In some ways I felt like I was eight years old and getting in trouble.
"So, what's all the moping about? Did Mr. LaMont find out and is backing out of the deal? Or perhaps your assistant feels led on?"
I scraped my hands over my face as I worked to get the last bits of the story out. "After the fake ceremony, Christian insisted that we take a honeymoon and Kellie and I decided we had to do it to maintain the ruse." I purposely didn't look at my grandmother knowing that she would just be even more disappointed in me for carrying on this charade. "During our trip, we were able to visit some places where we'll be distributing to, but mostly we played tourist."
My grandmother arched a brow and I suspect she knew where I was going with this.
"And during that time Kellie and I engaged in a short-term relationship. We had talked about it, discussed all the terms of the arrangement, and were in agreement with it."
My grandmother rolled her eyes. "Only you, Ryan, could turn romance into a business relationship."
To be honest, her comments stung slightly because I thought she'd be glad that I had considered the ramifications of the relationship and worked to make sure it wouldn't ruin things here at the company. "Initially, when we returned home, the relationship ended but not long after we picked up again."
"And now it’s ended? And you're brokenhearted or she's brokenhearted?"
I looked down as my throat tightened and I found it more difficult to share this with my grandmother. "We had started as just a friends with benefits type of thing, but as it went on, I developed feelings for her. Then she told me she was pregnant."
To my grandmother's credit she didn't have a reaction to that. It was like she was waiting for the next bit to decide how she felt about this news.
"She'd known for weeks, and hadn't said anything to me. In fact, I wonder if she was ever going to tell me at all. The truth, Gran, was that I wanted to marry her, but after I learned of her betrayal, and how she might've kept this child from me forever, I got angry and broke it off. Of course, I'm going to take care of her and the child, but I cannot be around her. I can't look at her and not see her lie and deception."
My grandmother let out a strange laugh. "That's something coming from the man that just admitted to lying and deceiving a business partner." She took a moment and I could tell she was gathering her thoughts. Having grown up with her, I knew it was best to just sit and wait.
"First, I am not at all surprised that you would get involved with Kellie. She's sweet, she's smart, and she's quite in tune to you and how you work. She's made you better at your job. But to say that she isn't good enough for you to have a relationship with, well that's just wrong."
"I didn't say she wasn't good enough." Hadn't I just told my grandmother that I had feelings for her?
"Friends with benefits relationships are done because one or the other doesn't think the other is good enough for something more permanent. By the nature of your quote unquote agreement, you were saying to her that she wasn't good enough."
No, no, no. That wasn't the case at all. "We did friends with benefits because we both knew that it could be a problem here at work.”
"The end result is that you used your assistant as some sort of sex toy."
I flinched, and guilt filled me.
"And I hate to say this Ryan, but I am disappointed in you. First Kellie deserves better and second to leave her after she's revealed that she's pregnant with your child…" My grandmother shook her head. "You should be ashamed of yourself."
I couldn't help but to defend myself. "She was walking around with this news for weeks. Every day we worked together. Every evening we were out spending time together and at no time did she tell me the news. She didn't trust me. Or maybe she was using me. I don't know. What I do know is I felt betrayed and hurt, and I can't marry someone who does that to me."
My grandmother's eyes widened for a moment and I realized I hadn't mentioned that I had proposed or wanted to marry Kellie. Perhaps I should've led with that. Then again maybe it would make my grandmother's opinion of me even lower.
"Can you really blame her for not telling you right away?"
I couldn't stop the feeling of betrayal that grew from my grandmother’s response. I felt like she should be siding with me. She should be sympathizing with me. But instead she was more concerned about Kellie, the one who lied.
"In her mind, she was just somebody to keep you organized during the day and give you pleasure at night. That's all you agreed to give her. And I suspect as you made this quote unquote agreement you were pretty clear that there would be no attachments. I can't imagine what it would be like to be a young woman pregnant by a powerful rich man who has basically told her she's only good enough to file his papers and to sleep with."
"It wasn't like that Gran." At least I didn't think it was. I'd asked her to marry me, so I knew it wasn't like that. But if I got out of my own head for a minute and put myself in her shoes, I realized she didn't know how I was feeling about her. And yet at the same time, regardless of what our situation was, didn’t I deserve to know? "Even if I was the worst asshole in the world, I should
have been told."
"I'm not going to condone her keeping the news about the baby from you. But I would suggest that you consider the situation from her side. What if you fired her? What if you broke off with her? What if you decided you wouldn't claim the child? Worse, what if you used your money and influence and took the baby from her?”
Jesus, I’d never do that.