“I didn’t earn it,” I snapped.
Andi came to me and wished I wasn’t on the plane because her nearness was discombobulating. “Do you think Ryan, Carter and Hunter didn’t earn their place?”
I shrugged. “They didn’t have to. They have nothing to prove?”
She frowned at me as I downed the first shot. “Why do you?”
I looked at her. “I’m the baby, Andi. I can barely remember my mother. That makes them all feel sorry for me. And so, they give and give, and give more when I try to get away from their pity. In school, any success I had, it was because of them. In life, anything I do, it’s because of them.”
“I’m sure they don’t mean to—”
“They don’t have to. Look at you. You think the same as they do. I couldn’t even fucking earn you.”
I walked away feeling raw.
“You’re wrong.”
I scoffed.
“It was me that didn’t earn you. And I’m about to betray your grandmother, but you need to know, she’s so proud of you. She wants you in the company because she knows if you were, this wouldn’t be happening.”
I whirled on her. “So, this hack is my fault?”
Andi let out a small growl. “No. That’s not what I’m saying and not what she believes. She knows you’re the best at what you do. That’s why she begged you to go. That’s one of the reasons she made the deal.”
“One reason?” What did Andi know?
She sighed. “She knows you want to do your own thing. And she wants you to.”
“She wants me to work for her.”
“She wants you to stop hiding from her. She wants you to stand up and take charge of your life. Yes, she’d like it to be with Strong Incorporated, but if not, she wants you to fulfill your dream.”
I had that strange feeling in my chest again like when Gran told me she trusted me. “Why is this a secret?”
“It’s not a secret per se, it’s just not for me to say. Margaret expects my confidence.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose feeling exhausted emotionally.
She let out a sigh. “I know you plan to leave, Noah. That’s probably partly why you said I was a mistake.”
Jesus, was she going to harp on that again?
“I want you to know, it wasn’t a mistake. Even if you never forgive me, I won’t regret it. None of it. Starting with the years of sparring with you.”
I couldn’t stop the upward twitch of my lips because I’d liked the sparring too.
“The sex. The fighting. I loved all of it. The only regret I have is how disastrously I hurt you.” She let out another long breath. “I’m going to lay down now. I want to be fresh when we arrive.”
I nodded and watched her head to the back. I stood there for a few moments unsure what the fuck I was feeling. I started back to the bedroom.
I opened the door, looking in. Andi was on her side facing away from me, but rolled to her back when I entered. “Is something wrong?”
I stalked to the bed and then crawled on it, moving my body over hers. “Would you go with me to Silicon Valley if I asked?” Remembering how fond she was of my grandmother, I added, “When Gran retires?”
She swallowed hard and her hand came up to my face. “I’ll go now. If you ask.”
My heart broke open then. I was still scared shitless that she didn’t trust me enough. But my heart didn’t seem to give a fuck. All it wanted was her.