"How many rooms does this house have anyway?" she asked.
I was happy that she was taking an interest in the house. I hobbled down the couple of steps on the small back porch. "Well, originally there were six bedrooms upstairs, and the two downstairs for live-in help. One of the former owners converted two rooms into a master suite, and a smaller nursery was converted into a walk-in closet. So now there are four bedrooms upstairs plus the two down here."
We walked along the side of the house until we reached the concrete ramp and carefully, we walked down it to the side door into the basement.
I open the door, flipping on the light switch, and then let her in in front of me. She glanced around the space.
"Do you use this very much?"
I shook my head. "You know me, I prefer to be outside."
"Then why do you have a gym?"
"It was here when I bought it. The woman before me had used it as a dance studio. That's why all those mirrors are on that wall. I didn’t need a dance room, so I figured I'd turn it into a gym. You never know, maybe I'd fall down the stairs and I need to have physical therapy." I gave her a cheeky grin.
She rolled her eyes. “Sit on the bench there.”
I did as she asked. She gave me a few posture instructions and then asked me to extend my leg. I did so and made a face as if it caused some pain. She counted to five and told me to put my leg down again, then we repeated. We did that several times and then moved on to another exercise.
"Have you been on a Mexican cruise again since the one we were on?" she asked, as I squeezed a rolled-up towel between my knees. It seemed like she was trying to be nonchalant as she helped me move, but there is a part of me that thought she was fishing for information about other women since her. I wasn’t going to go into detail about that. Yes, I’d had sex with other women, but I’d never been captivated by one since her. That’s all she would need to know.
"No."
She turned her head to look at me. "Never?"
I shook my head. "Never. To be honest, it was sort of a fluke that I was on the cruise where we met."
Or serendipity, I thought. Destiny. I wonder what she'd think if I said that. "Cruises themselves don't seem so adventurous, but that one had all the cool stops, so I decided to take it and then I didn't have to worry about transportation between each location. As it turned out it was one of the best trips in my life."
She smiled but turned her attention to my knee, which bugged me a little bit. She really didn't want to give me any sign.
"How about you? Have you been on a cruise again?" I asked. Maybe she’d tell me about Reggie.
She shook her head." No." There was something in her tone that told me there was more information there and I desperately wanted to ask her about it. She was hiding something, and I didn't know if it was from me specifically or from the world. Whatever it was, it weighed heavy on her. I wanted to lighten the load for her, to be there for her. But I knew I couldn't push her to tell me what was going on, as it would probably make her move farther away. I needed to bide my time.
Fortunately, I bought myself a month, so I was going to make the most of it.
20
Jess
Despite all the self-control I thought I’d had, clearly I didn't have any at all. Within five minutes I was astride Carter again. No wonder he was confused. When he talked about exploring our relationship, I des
perately wanted that, and yet, I didn't. I wanted to give in to him and to believe that he and I and Tanner could be a family. But my fears about everything that could go wrong were too strong.
Luckily, Carter didn't push it, and instead we went on to have our PT session. Like his father, Carter worked hard and for the most part didn't grumble if the pain got to be too much. For me, the hardest part was in watching Carter move. His strong, lean muscles made my libido heat up again. Fortunately, I didn't jump him again.
On the drive back home, my mind was a whirl of conflicting thoughts and feelings. I needed to get them all settled down, so Reggie and Tanner didn't notice. I arrived home as Reggie was getting ready to put the dinner on the table. As usual, Tanner came running out and gave me a hug, but he seemed a bit more subdued.
We sat at the table to eat dinner and all three of us were quiet. I knew I was quiet because I didn't want them to know what happened between me and Carter, but it was unusual for Tanner and Reggie not to be chatty.
When Tanner finished his dinner, he asked to be excused and then he ran off to play in his room.
"Is everything all right with him?" I asked.
Reggie sighed, wiping her mouth with her napkin and then setting it beside her plate. "I think he's going to be fine, but we did have some acting out issues today."
"Acting out?" Tanner was three, so of course he was prone to the occasional tantrum, but acting out wasn’t something he did.