"I think he's just angry that you had to leave today, and he didn't get over it as quickly as I thought he might." She put her utensils on her plate and began to clear the table.
I sat for a moment and the guilt, as it often did, began to swamp me. I was betraying Tanner as well as Carter and both were suffering for it.
Regina turned at the sink, leaning back against it and looking at me. “Far be it for me to tell you how to live your life and raise your child, but I really think the choices you're making are going to hurt not just you, but that little boy too."
I bristled even though I knew she was right. I looked down as I put my own utensils on the plate and began to clear it.
"I think you're playing with fire, Jess, and you're going to get burned. Whatever it is you're trying to avoid will be much worse if you don't deal with what is going on here."
"When did you get a degree in psychology?" I snapped, hating myself for it, but not able to take the chastising from her.
She shrugged and turned around to do her dishes. “It doesn't take a shrink to see what is going on."
"So, what should I do? Just quit my job and stay home with him all the time? How am I going to pay rent if I do that?"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe tell his daddy about him and for the record, I don't think a mother has to stay home all the time, but she can't promise her son something and then not deliver. Right now, he only thinks you reneged on your deal to spend the day with him, but I know that you're denying him so much more and he deserves better than that."
Tears welled in my eyes because of course she was right. I'd known she was right for so long and still hadn't been able to do the right thing.
I put my dishes in the dishwasher and went to find my purse.
"Where are you going now?” Reggie asked.
"I'm going over to Carter's to tell him about Tanner. If it's all right that I leave him here with you for an hour or so."
"Of course, it’s alright. My problem isn’t in watching him, Jess. It's in how you’re not living up to your role as a mother."
I gave a curt nod and then I hurried out the door to my car.
On the drive over I practiced all the different ways that I could tell him he's a father.
Remember that trip we took to Mexico? Well, I came home with a little souvenir from you.
No that wouldn’t work.
The reason I can't live in, Carter, is because I have a son. And you're his father.
No that would work either. The closer I got to his house and the more variations of revealing that he was a father, the more I began to realize that there was almost nothing I could say that probably would go over easy. The fact that I had been back in his life for so long and hadn't said anything was going to be a problem. Reggie was right, the more I was trying to avoid problems, the worse I was actually making them.
I arrived at Carter's house on the part of the driveway that curved in front of the house. Taking a deep breath, I exited the car and walked up the stairs of the porch to the door.
Movement inside the house caught my eye through one of the windows alongside the door. I tilted my head in so I could get a better look. Carter was trotting down the stairs. No limp. No grimace on his face from a meniscus tear in his knee.
He wasn't injured at all. It was all just some big scam. And clearly, I'd fallen into it. He manipulated me and I had gone to bed with him.
My initial instinct was to turn and leave and never come back. But I couldn't do that without giving him a piece of my mind.
I reached out opening the front door and pushing it open. He was in the foyer, screeching to a halt when he saw me. His eyes went wide with shock.
"You're a liar. Carter Strong."
He shook his head, holding his hands up in surrender. “I'm sorry, Jess. Let me explain."
"What is there to explain? I understand perfectly. You’re home for a while to visit your dad and you need a woman to keep you satisfied in the homeport. And what easier woman is there than the one that you had on the cruise ship?"
He jerked back slightly and then scoffed. "Easy? Nothing has been easy with you. And you're not just —"
"So, you decided to trick me? And pay me $100,000?" All of a sudden, I felt sick to my stomach as I realized he was paying me $100,000 essentially to try and get me to have an affair with him. "You know you almost had me fooled."