I shook my head of my doomsday thinking, and carefully opened the envelope. I pulled out a piece of paper, flipping it open where Carter had written:
Payment per our contract. No further services needed. Contract terminated.
My heart cracked open even more at the words he chose to use. I knew that he wasn't talking just about the contract, but that any hope of he and I being together had been terminated too.
Be careful what you ask for.
I opened up the bottom fold of the paper and a check fell out. I picked it up, wondering why he was bothering to send me a check after one day of work.
My mouth dropped open at all the zeros.
"My God, he paid you the total amount," Reggie said as she stood behind me looking over my shoulder.
"I only worked for him one day."
"Maybe it's guilt pay for having duped you,” she suggested.
If that was true, then I needed to return it all because in the end I was duping him too. I folded the check back into the paper and shoved it back in the envelope.
"It's you
r turn mommy," Tanner said.
Absently, I reached forward, turning over a card with two blue squares on it. “I don’t understand why he’d do this.”
"Well, if it's not guilt, maybe he's not finished with his attempt to woo you as he said he was," Regina said.
"You have to move your man two blue ones mommy." Impatiently, Tanner took my plastic game piece and moved it ahead two blue spaces. Then he drew his own card.
"I should just send this back,” I said, looking at the envelope again.
"Maybe you should think about it. That's a lot of money and you said yourself, it could set up Tanner's future."
She was right, but it felt very disingenuous to take Carter's money to use for his son, when he didn't even know he had a son.
"Maybe you can take it back to him yourself and tell him the truth." Regina walked over to her desk, putting her computer bag on it. "And maybe, because it seems like he's a good guy, you can have that family you've always wanted."
I felt pretty sure that ship had sailed. Maybe he’d reconsider now, but once he knew the truth, I couldn’t imagine him forgiving me. How had things changed so quickly and I was now the bad guy. Then again, all the time I spent not telling him about Tanner made me the bad guy.
"Mommy, it's your turn again."
I turned over my card revealing a single green square. Tanner went ahead and moved my piece for me.
"Maybe it's time for you to move on,” Reggie said. “You still need to tell him about Tanner, but maybe it's time to stop dreaming about him and being a family. I have a really good friend, Kevin, that I think you’ll hit it off with him. Let me set you up with him."
"It will be unfair to him,” I said.
"Well, he’s sort of on the rebound himself, so it can be one of those things where you two soothe each other's battered souls. But you can't sit around here all the time pining for the man that you are adamant that you don't want." Reggie went into the kitchen.
I didn't want to go on a date with Kevin or anyone, but maybe I could use the distraction. And if he didn't have any expectations of me, then maybe it would be a good way to take my mind off my guilt.
Reggie reemerged with two glasses of wine, handing me one.
"Okay, but it's just a friendly date. No promises,” I said, taking the wine from her.
"It'll be great. Really."
"Mommy, it’s your turn again." Tanner let out a little growl of frustration.