26
Jess
There was something seriously wrong with me. I was on a date with one man but had tried to kiss another one. I had successfully rejected the one man that I loved, and yet once again started to throw myself at him. But most cruelly, I was keeping this man, who was clearly in pain from my rejection, from knowing about his son. It was difficult for me to reconcile the woman that I believed myself to be with the one I was turning out to be.
I was hurt when Carter rejected me just now, but I couldn't blame him. In the end, I was glad that he had the strength to do it.
I might have simply gone home, but with all my faults, I didn't want to add abandoning a date to the list of my obnoxious behavior. So, I reentered the restaurant, scanning it to see where Carter had gone. He seemed to avoid Kevin, and instead went to the bar. I worried about him drinking so much, but then I remembered this was Hunter's restaurant so hopefully Hunter would look out for him.
When I arrived at my table, I was about to sit, when Hunter arrived.
"I apologize for any embarrassment that my brother may have caused you," he said. His voice was smooth and even and I got the feeling he didn't really mean what he was saying.
"Maybe you need to send him to rehab —"
I flinched at Kevin's comment as I sat down. Hunter's eyes narrowed into menacing slits.
"It's okay. We shouldn't have come here." I said, thinking that perhaps it was time to leave.
"I've gone ahead and comped you your meals to make up for any discomfort my brother may have caused you."
Kevin nodded as if he thought that was a fair deal. "Thank you. We appreciate that."
I looked at Kevin and maybe he didn't realize that he'd invited me to dinner but the man paying for it was the brother of the man that I had hurt.
"I hope that you will enjoy tonight's meal because it will be the last one you have at Cesare’s. After tonight, I don't want to see either of you back in here again."
Kevin's jaw dropped. My heart fell, feeling chastised, just as it should. How did I let my life get to be such a mess?
"Maybe we should go," I said to Kevin after Hunter left our table.
Kevin shook his head. "If this is the only meal that I’ll have at Cesare’s, I would like to enjoy it." Then, as if he realized he was being insensitive, he said, "I'm sorry, if you're uncomfortable we can go. Or we can stay and not let the drunken anger of your ex get in the way of our having an enjoyable time."
He had a point. But to me, staying felt like I'd be rubbing salt into Carter's wound. I'd be rubbing salt in my own wound.
"Kevin, I really enjoyed meeting you, and had we gone somewhere else, I'm sure we would've had a lovely evening. But I can't stay here. Not now. I'm sorry." I rose from my chair, and grabbed my purse.
Kevin watched me a little bit surprised. It occurred to me that had it been Carter sitting there, he would have risen from his chair with me. Carter had immaculate manners, his recent drunken confrontation notwithstanding.
I watched Kevin for a moment, and he seemed torn as to what to do. I couldn't blame him. He was going to have a free meal at Cesare’s, the only meal he would ever be able to have here, if Hunter stuck to his guns. I wasn't going to take that away from him.
"You st
ay and enjoy the meal. I don't want to ruin your evening."
He stood. "It doesn't seem right to just let you go and stay here for dinner."
I waved his comment away. "Please stay and enjoy it. Really, it's okay. I want you to."
He seemed to think about it for a moment and then nodded.
"I really was having a good time, and I'm sorry I ruined it —"
"You didn't ruin it, Carter Strong did," Kevin said.
I shook my head. "No, all this is my fault. Have a lovely dinner Kevin." I turned and left the restaurant. When I got my car, I considered driving out to the beach or someplace where I could sit and think, but instead I just drove home. Perhaps I’d get there in time to put Tanner to bed.
When I walked into the house, the living room was empty, and all was quiet in the kitchen. That meant Reggie was probably putting Tanner to bed, so I made it just in time.