"The point is Tanner, you do have a daddy."
"I do?" Tanner's eyes glanced briefly at Carter and then back at me.
"Yes, you do. And he's just like you. He's kind and fun and very handsome." I wasn't sure how Carter would take the handsome bit, but I figured Tanner would like it. "Tanner, baby, this is your daddy. Carter is your daddy."
Tanner glanced over Carter, who was still squatted down to Tanner's eye level. "Hi Tanner."
I could see that there was so much going on inside Carter, but either he couldn't figure out what to say or do, or he was simply letting Tanner take the lead.
Tanner's brows knitted together as he studied Carter. "How come you weren’t here?"
I saw the pain flash in Carter's eyes.
"Carter didn't know about you, baby. I tried to find him, but I couldn't. If he'd known, he would've been here," I said looking at Carter hoping that he knew that I believed that.
"If you knew about me, you'd be here?" Tanner asked Carter.
"Absolutely, Tanner. I wish I had known sooner because I really wanted to be here. And from now on I will be. I promise."
"Are you going to come live with us now? B
ecause mommies and daddies live together."
Carter glanced at me and I wasn't sure what his expression was trying to tell me, but I knew that I had missed the opportunity for us to be a family.
"Well, not all mommies and daddies live together, Tanner. Remember the little girl Sarah that we met at the park? Remember, her daddy brings her there when it's her turn to be at his house?" I said, taking the pressure off Carter.
Tanner thought for a moment and nodded. "Will I stay at your house sometimes?"
"I would like that very much, if you would,” Carter said.
"What kind of house do you have? Does it have toys?" Tanner asked. He moved closer to me and I could see that while he was intrigued at having a daddy, he was a little bit nervous about the prospect of going to stay with a man he didn't know.
"I have a huge house perfect for playing hide-and-seek. And I have a pool too. I don't have any toys yet, but I will get some."
"I can show you the toys that I have that I like," Tanner said to him as if he was trying to be helpful.
Carter smiled and it reminded me of how much he and Tanner were like. "That would be a big help to me because I want to get you the toys that you would enjoy playing with."
"Does anybody else live over at your house?" Tanner asked. I wasn't sure what he was thinking by asking that question.
"Nope, it's just me and my house. But I do have family here in San Diego. I've got three brothers who I know are going to think the world of you, just like I do. And I have a dad, he's your grandfather, and he's going to be so happy to meet you, Tanner. And I even have a grandmother, which makes her your great-grandmother, and she's going to love you too."
Tanner's eyes rounded into saucers. "That many people?"
Carter smiled. "Yes. You now have a lot more people in your family. A lot more people who love you."
Tanner's brows knitted together again. "Are there any kids?"
Carter laughed and I smiled, loving how well they were getting along even in this awkward meeting.
"You're the only kid so far. But my brother Ryan and his wife Kellie are going to have a baby pretty soon."
"Will it be a boy or girl?" Tanner asked.
Carter shrugged. "You know, I don't know."
"When will I get to see them?" Tanner asked.