Carter led us to the kitchen where he had the pizza set out along with some plates and forks. He had a glass of milk for Tanner, but it was in a glass cup. I wished I’d thought to have brought plastic cups.
"Tanner, baby. Don't bite your glass okay?" I said.
Carter looked at me quizzically.
"He normally drinks out of a plastic cup. I should've sent one with you. I'm sorry."
Carter thought about that for a moment and then went to his cupboard and pulled out a sports water bottle. "Will this work?"
"That would make me feel more comfortable," I admitted.
Carter switched out the glass with a water bottle and we all sat down to dinner.
One of the good things about Tanner was that he liked to talk. So, there was no awkwardness between Carter and me as Tanner prattled on and on about spending the day with his dad.
After dinner we were all back upstairs playing with Tanner's new toys. But it wasn't long that I saw the telltale signs that Tanner was getting tired and he needed to go to bed.
"I should probably get him home. It's almost past his bedtime," I said, hoping that Carter wouldn't get upset.
"Let him stay here tonight."
I hesitated and I knew that it bothered Carter. My hesitation wasn't because I didn't think Carter could take care of Tanner, but more of the concern about Tanner getting confused if he woke up in the middle of the night and I wasn't there.
"Can I mommy? Can I sleep here?" Tanner ran over to one of the twin beds and climbed up on it.
I looked down because I didn't want to see Carter's annoyance of me. "I just worry if he gets up in the middle of the night and is disoriented. He might wonder where I am or accidentally fall down the stairs."
"Why don’t you stay here with him?"
I looked up at Carter, while at the same time telling my heart that he wasn’t asking me to stay with him.
He nodded to the other bed. "You can stay in here with him and that way if he gets up and is looking for you, you’ll be here."
That made sense, but it felt weird. "You don't have to go to work tomorrow? Because I do."
"Leave him with me again. I'd like to take him to work. He's got a lot more family left to meet."
I shook my head because Carter didn't know what having a three-year-old all day was like. "If he's with you, you're not going to be able to get any work done."
"I won't get any work done anyway because I'm still in a daze about being a father. Let me do this. Please." He took a breath. "Once we put him down here, it will give me a chance to say what I'd gone over to your place this morning to say to you."
I couldn't imagine what that was.
"Plus, we need to set out some initial parameters about when he can be with me because I do plan to be an integral part of his life, Jess. I don't want to be an ass—" He caught himself. "I don’t want to be a jerk about this and fight you. I want us to be able to figure this out amicably."
I nodded, acknowledging that he was right. "Yes, okay. I actually have an extra set of clothes for him in the car because you never know when he's going to make a mess." Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes for me, but that wasn't as important.
As we got Tanner ready for bed, I realized that this was going to be my new normal. I didn't have everything that I wanted, but I had given Tanner everything that he needed. He had his father.
31
Carter
Being a father was a lot of work, but it was fucking awesome. Everything about today was perfection, except for the fact that the woman I loved had lied to me. And it wasn't just that she lied, but the reasons that she lied suggested that she questioned my moral character. If she did that, she couldn't possibly love me too. She couldn't even respect me. But if we were going to be the best parents for Tanner, I would have to put my resentment aside and get along with her.
As it turned out that wasn't very hard. When Jess arrived that evening, Tanner was very excited to see her, and watching them together warmed my heart. There was nothing like seeing sheer joy on the face of my child.
As we ate dinner together, we didn't speak much as Tanner had complete control