But as I stood in the upstairs sitting room, staring down at her looking so vulnerable yet sexy in my t-shirt and shorts, my heart beat a million miles a minute as I realized I was setting myself up to be rejected again.
"You're making me nervous, Carter,” she said.
"I'm nervous too," I replied, as I scanned my brain for a way out of this that didn’t include my heart being stomped on again.
“Why? What's going on?"
I sucked in a breath for strength. "Because I love you too."
She gasped, but I still didn’t know what the hell she was thinking. “You do?”
I nodded.
“But you’re nervous?”
“You were crying because you loved me. I don’t know what that means and my heart can’t take much more battering, Jess.” Sometimes I wished I could do better at hiding my true feelings. I felt like I was standing on a ledge, teetering and about to fall to my doom.
She moved closer to me, pressing her hand on my chest. I wondered if she could feel how my heart was jack hammering in my chest.
“I was crying because I loved you but lost you. I saw everything I ever wanted in the kitchen with you and Tanner looking so adorable in your aprons as you cooked. I wasn’t a part of that, and I wanted to be. But I ruined it. That’s why I was crying.”
I swallowed hard and put my hand over hers on my chest. I watched her face intently. “Tell me again.”
Her other hand pressed to my cheek. “I love you, Carter. I always have.”
I closed my eyes as her words cloaked me in warmth. I opened them to see her watching me. “I love you too, Jess.”
For a moment we simply stood staring at each other. In that moment, all the tension and fear dissipated, replaced by hope and joy.
She smiled. “Will you forgive me and give me another chance?”
How could I not? I answered her by dipping my head and kissing her. Any lingering doubt left as I drank in her taste. Her fingers gripped my t-shirt as her lips slanted and took the kiss deeper.
I pulled away only with breath that was critically necessary. “Stay with me tonight, Jess.” Maybe it was too fast to have sex, but my need for her was more than a physical pop of pleasure.
She nodded. “Yes.”
Joy spread, and swept her up in my arms, carrying her to my room. “Tanner knows where my room is, if he wakes,” I said, wanting to alleviate any worry she might have. Even so, I locked the door as I didn’t need my son walking in on me making love with his mother.
“I doubt he’ll wake. He’s had a lot of excitement the last two days,” she said. Her arms wrapped tight around me, and I savored the feel of it.
I set her by the bed. “You look good in my clothes, Jess.”
She laughed. “It’s not lingerie.”
“It’s better. There’s something really sexy about you wearing my clothes.” I tugged the shirt over her head, pleased to find that she was braless.
“I remember when you got this shirt,” she said, as she ran her hands over my chest.
“I hoped you would.”
She smiled so brightly. “You’re amazing.”
I arched a brow and then yanked my own shirt off over my head. “Because I gave you a t-shirt I hoped you’d remember?”
She nodded. “I love your sentimentality. I love how you openly share your heart.” She leaned in and kissed my chest over my heart. “I’ll never hurt it again.”
I hoped that was true, but I knew we still had things to workout. But not tonight. Tonight was about reconnecting. About the possibilities of the future.